Musings and Meditations

What To Do with "Fans"

2012-02-04T18:57:00.006-05:00

(nb: if this graphic looks familiar, it's because I created it for this piece last year.)

Today, on Twitter, after another devastating loss, Habs fans were commiserating as we always do. As we did, we listened to a new show on CJAD, The Locker Room, with Abe Hefter. By the time I tuned in, one caller had suggested the Habs trade Erik Cole. Say WHAT? Cole has been a huge asset since he was signed. Big, powerful, takes risks, and scores goals. His attitude and heart are top drawer. But this caller wanted him traded.

I then heard a caller who called fans "duped". That people keep spending the money, going to the games, and being duped. He insulted those of us who cheer for our team, saying that the team doesn't show up, why should fans?

That got me ticked! I posted to Abe's Facebook page: Abe, I can't NOT be a Habs fan. Your previous caller quit but I never will. I'm devastated by this season but I'm optimistic and patient, and a forever Habs fan!

Abe read it on the air with all the passion I felt in my heart. But then, the fun started. I suggested we trade or fire the fans. It started to grow legs. Mimi - aka habschick66 said, " Know what keeps me going? I trash the fans instead of the team. HAHAHA"

Cathie wrote: "I'll pay the shipping to Boston, with a Toronto return address. #FireTheFans"

Bella, on her birthday, posting from Miami, posted: "I'll pay for the crate. They're going cargo. Don't forget to drill holes in it."

I replied, "They don't need holes - they have them in their heads!"

When Mimi asked if, after trading Cole, we have any players to ice a team, I suggested Youppi lacing them up (for those not familiar with him, Youppi is our big, orange, loveable fluffy mascot). To that, Mimi replied, Yup. And we'll dress some fans, preferably those who think they're better than Gomez." My reply: "And then get Chara to fire some 108.8 MPH pucks on 'em!"

We began to have fun with this; we needed an outlet for our sadness, our frustration, and our increasing sense of doom. Being Habs Fans Forever (aka #HabsFanForever - a new hashtag not usable by everyone), we found an outlet: "fans" who proclaim that they are either done rooting for the Habs, or who constantly bash them (I've seen people actually say, "shame on them for not showing any heart." as well as rather profane statements about the team). We haven't picked on specific people, we've kept it fun and light, and it sure does bring people together. I've gone from sinking heart to a feeling of cohesiveness and camaraderie and it makes a hard loss more palatable.

Your turn: what would YOU do to those who may dress like fans but speak like rivals?

Go Habs Go!

The People Speak...

2012-02-02T22:08:00.004-05:00

My Habs are in last place. Last. A place I'm not used to seeing them, in the past 2 years since I started paying attention to points and standings. We've been through trades, coach firings, injuries, a suspension, and loss after loss.

I read my Twitter timeline and see the analyses placing blame everywhere it can be placed (and some are right, some are off the mark, some are way off base). I express my sadness, my frustration, my disappointment and my dread of Season's End. I commiserate with other Habs fans, and it actually feels better to do so.

But I think we need to do something. As a fan base, we consist of people from every level of knowledge - from reporters, to reporter-smart, to just-plain-smart analysts and bloggers. And people like me, fans who enjoy the game, understand much of it, and learn from those who discuss the situation.

Still, we don't do the hiring or firing. We don't coach (other than armchair coaching, of course!), we certainly don't manage, we aren't the players. What power do we have as fans?

We could boycott the game. Before you open the "leave comment" box, that is NOT my opinion, suggestion, or idea! I've heard it said; you won't see it. Not here. Montreal eats its young sometimes, when hockey doesn't go its way, but we will still flood the Bell Centre for games.

We could write letters - they may or may not reach the desk of those people we are addressing, those people who need to know how we feel.

But what I've done - and will continue to do, and am proposing we ALL do - is to tweet Geoff Molson. He has Twitter, and is found at @GMolsonCHC. I believe if he hears enough of our suggestions (am I wrong in believing we ALL want Pierre Gauthier fired before he can do any more harm to our team by signing the wrong players and missing out on the right ones?), he may just understand how WE see this team.

So fellow fans: Tweet Mr. Molson. I can't do anything but suggest that our tweets are respectful (he's more likely to listen to fans who aren't tearing him apart or using profanity), calm (anger will be behind our sentiments but he'll see the cool heads that prevail) and to the point. I don't know if it will do any good, but who knows? He's on Twitter, it's not easy for him, but he's on. He reads the tweets. Let's inundate him with our pleas to fire Gauthier and see what happens next.

I'm not saying we have power. But vox populi, right?

And on another note: no matter where we're at in the standings, my son has been invited to Saturday's game and is as excited to attend as any game where we were on top of the world. THAT'S loyalty!

There's No Crying in Hockey...or is there?

2012-01-12T08:19:00.004-05:00

It's January 12th. We've already played half the season's games and are wallowing at the bottom of the standings. We have been plagued with injuries, bad calls, a fired coach, an ineffective manager, and an over-long suspension.

Yesterday, after a loss (a shut-out, no less) to the St. Louis Blues, where our former goalie was saluted for his incredible work in the 2010 playoffs (deservedly so), there was scapegoating, trade rumors, negativity and misinterpretation of one player's remarks.

And then...the news from The Canadiens:

Late Wednesday the Canadiens announced Brian Gionta has undergone surgery for a torn biceps in his right arm and will be out of the lineup indefinitely.

Gionta was hurt during the third period of a 3-0 loss to St. Louis Tuesday night.

He returned to play one shift before leaving the game.

Gionta had returned to the lineup Saturday against Tampa Bay after an 11-game absence.

And suddenly, I am close to tears. On Twitter, it is surmised that our captain may miss the rest of the season. And while he is one person, he is an important person. They all are.

I find myself wondering why it matters so much that a hockey team in my city will, in all likelihood, miss the playoffs this year. (and for the record, that isn't a sure thing - and if it is, I don't want to know it now) I find myself wondering how emotions come to the surface so easily after a loss, when last year each game was exciting to me, and every win mattered but I was so relaxed about things.

Well, last season I was still learning. This season I get it. I understand that teams fight to remain within the top 8 teams in order to be in playoff position. It makes sense, when I think about it, just as it has made sense to me my entire academic life; after all, one doesn't count on the last week of exams to pass a course, one has to build a foundation and ensure one's success. So now it makes sense - stay within the top 8, or at least within a couple of points of that spot, and playoffs are a cinch.

Now, that is so far up the scale it looks like the Mount Everest of sports achievements. And yes, it evokes tears of ....what, frustration? Despair? (no, I don't go there, not with the Habs, there's ALWAYS hope) Just plain sadness that our team hasn't achieved base camp like we have in past years.

But Mount Everest has been conquered. And even those who can't reach the summit do reach other milestones, other base camps, other personal goals. And being the eternal optimist, I will look for that half-full glass. What can we look forward to?

An off-season of movement - new players, new developments (I love my team, but I've learned in the past 2 seasons that I must resign myself to the ever-changing roster situation this game brings)
The excitement of the approaching pre-season, that tabula rasa we are all afforded when the Stanley Cup has been hoisted, assigned to its new home team, and then forgotten until a new contest begins
The experience of watching new prospects as they train, skate, demonstrate their Habs worthiness in training camp and pre-season
Pre-season itself - possibly scoring tickets to once again walk the sacred grounds of our beloved Bell Centre
And, of course, a new season. Where the points count, the players battle, and we start this ride all over again.

Will there be crying in hockey next season? Of course there will. But I look forward to more tears of joy than sadness.

And lest anyone think otherwise - my pride, my loyalty and my love for the Habs has not diminished in the face of this snakebitten* season. In fact, nothing could do that. They're my team, my guys, my Habs. My heart knows only unconditional love and that applies to my team. I am super proud to be a Habs fan because let's face it - the Habs are not only defined by one season. We share a long, beautiful, and legendary history, and our reputation (of our city, the organization and yes, even the fans) is one that has me swell with pride whenever I hear or read sports announcers, local and out-of-town, discuss the Montreal Canadiens.

So this season is what it is. Halfway through, I believe we have MANY wonderful moments ahead. Our team always manages to pull off impressive feats, and if those don't add up to a playoff spot, then so be it. We'll seize the moments, enjoy and celebrate them, and look forward to a warm, carefree summer leading up to a Brand New Season.

(But allow me my tears if you see me shedding them. And the best thing is...with new friends found via Twitter, I know I am not crying alone)

I'll say it again: I believe in my team, and let's make this a half-season of hope, loyalty, and optimism for the lessons we'll learn.

Go Habs GO!!!

*Thanks to swandad for this description

Ch-ch-ch-ch-chaanges...

2011-12-21T15:03:00.008-05:00

It's been a few days and I've gotten my thoughts together. The week has been tumultuous in Habsville, extended beyond the hockey world, and I've got to have my say.

Less than a week after Twitter produced such a positive aura, where so many of us bonded together in outrage over a cruel and uninformed article, my timeline was once again filled with debate, argument, patronizing and dissension.

From a city whose passion is so strong for its team has come a firing/hiring and polarizing issue which has little, if any, relevance to the game we all adore.

Waking up Saturday morning, finding out the Habs had fired Coach Jacques Martin, I avoided Twitter. I was among those who did not feel the coach was the problem. I actually hated the calls for his head on a platter, and was as outspoken as I could be without being able to discuss every nuance of the game. All I knew was that, from the human point of view, the man was doing a job that also depended on a crew of others to execute it for him. Did I understand the decisions he had to make? Not really. I did have others explain them (e.g. time-on-ice decisions, special teams assignments, healthy scratches, etc). But I still could not believe that professional hockey players would underperform in order to show their disdain for a coach. I - perhaps naively - thought that no matter the coach, the team would play to win. Every, single time.

They may. As a Habs fan, I believe they do. I have to. But then, December 17th, the management of our team showed they believed otherwise, and decided to change coaches.

First issue I had to deal with that day was my compassion for the man himself. I felt terrible for him. I was told, "nevermind, he's got $1,000,000 firing bonus, he'll be fine." But somehow I believed that the money, to Jacques Martin, was never an issue. I believed he cared more about the game, not about his wallet. (Does the money help? Of course! But in so many people, there is a calling for the position and that supersedes the pay check).

I felt awful that he was spending Christmas out of work. Again, scoffed at by those dancing in the streets who said it didn't matter. Again, my above argument was negated by many who dismissed it as my being new to the game, new to the culture, and Mr. Martin's comfy nest egg.

Dave Stubbs wrote a beautiful article which expressed, better than I could, exactly what I had been feeling. And I felt the debate would, perhaps, die down.

But then, the Uproar. The Habs now have an interim coach, Randy Cunneyworth, who is - ready for this shocker? - an Anglophone. Worse, an Anglo who is not bilingual! (I hear the gasps)

Those reading this who are either non-Quebecois, non-Canadian, or unaware of this issue, Quebec is a primarily French province, though Canada's TWO official languages are French and English. There has been an unwritten rule that the Habs do not have a unilingual coach. Coach must be able to speak both languages, or he isn't considered. It's one of the reasons we did not see Kirk Muller as a future head coach for us; no one was fooled by the fact that he was always involved, effective, and obviously liked and respected by all, including players. We all knew Captain Kirk would never be able to take the podium as head coach, because he is an Anglo.

But I don't think anyone could have predicted the maelstrom to follow. Perhaps it was hinted at when Coach Cunneyworth, along with GM Pierre Gauthier, sat in front of cameras and recorders for a pre-game (FIRST game, to be clear) interview. French media directed questions only at Mr. Gauthier, while Randy got English questions from English press. And (too) many of those French questions focused on the fact that the new Coach was unilingual. If that wasn't bad enough, it was becoming a topic du jour on Twitter, where well-known French media personalities were posting actual disappointment over the hiring.

It got worse. It became a Story that spread to the rest of Canada (which highlighted the story Monday morning on Canada A.M.) and then to CNN, an American 24-hour news channel! Why? Because the Government of this province stated, clearly, its objections to Coach Cunneyworth at the helm. The government!!!

When the Montreal French-language newspaper, Le Journal de Montréal, published Tuesday, after a 2nd loss for the Habs under Coach Cunneyworth's regime, the front page was astounding. Not only was the headline, in HUGE letters, "Inacceptable" in French, there was another headline, below, in English: "Another Loss For Cunneyworth". This newspaper, as Québecois as any French-Canadian, made an obvious statement with its English headline. The poll it quotes, on the front page, states that 72% of Quebec is against a unilingual coach. Obviously a skewed poll, as I'm sure they didn't quite conduct a scientific study.

So the issue emerged on Twitter (where much of my Habs-related discussions take place): do you want a coach who will win, or a coach who will speak French? The consensus was the former, but would those who stood for the latter actually stand up? It is hard to tell, and yet, the undercurrents are growing.

We were asked, "will the language debate die down once the team starts to win?" I stated my opinion that no...those decrying this hiring were doing so before the coach took the bench for his first game wearing the hat. This isn't going away, win or lose, and that's the point I believe should be examined. Those who are more ingrained in the language issue are less involved in the sport. Otherwise, it wouldn't matter one bit if the coach spoke one, two, or three languages! As Habs fans, should winning, success, and future victories not be at the core of EVERY issue?

We may debate the lines a coach puts on the ice, we may debate the pairings and we may debate how much time-on-ice rookies are being given. But we do so because we want to see winning lines, winning pairings, and winning players make the difference between smiles and disappointments. Not because one is English, one is Russian, one may be younger, or one is African-American. We love our team because of the passion we feel for the game, not because of their individual make-up. We embrace the differences of our team players, we celebrate their individuality, but when they are on the ice, they are Our Team. Not Pacioretty, A.K., Louis or PK. We see them as a unit, working together to net the goals and tip the scales in favor of Habs wins.

So why should it matter what language our coach speaks? If he can motivate the team to work hard, if he can conduct drills in practices that strengthen and develop their skills, if he can find winning combinations of 5-player hockey, penalty-kill hockey, and power-play hockey, all to reach the end goal of scoring more than the opponent, does it matter if he can conduct a press conference in English only?

I acknowledge, respectfully and proudly, our two solitudes. I acknowledge that Habs hockey is ingrained in our culture, and that culture includes French and English. But the most immediate issue at hand for our Habs (OUR Habs, people) is the fact that we're finding it hard to keep leads, and win games. I'd like to see my Province NOT mocked on international news shows. I'd like to see people once again bonding together over hockey, not distracted by sub-issues. I'd like to see this Province give Coach Cunneyworth the respect he deserves for stepping into big shoes, faced with struggles on the ice, and for being at the center of a long-standing debate that will not go away if, or when, he is no longer with the organization.

This is about hockey. Language can wait.

The Power of People

2011-12-13T01:06:00.008-05:00

Something very powerful happened tonight. Around suppertime, a column was released that had mostly everyone shocked by its insensitivity and controversial finger pointing. I immediately blogged about it because I had to express my feelings and share them. Writing, for me, has always been a catharsis, a release, a therapy as well as a creative and intellectual process. I posted my blog on twitter, and was immediately met with people RT'ing (retweeting) it. I'm always honored when people do that because it is a peer recognition that never gets old.

I had people responding to me, both in my timeline and in private, and again, the compliments were as wonderful from the first to the last. It always moves me deeply to be able to touch another human heart with my writing.

We were also given a window to another heart. Julie V, metricjulie on Twitter. She posted her letter to Pat Hickey as well, revealing her own survival of sexual abuse. It is candid, heartfelt, knowledgeable and powerful. And we were given the info that the evening radio show on a local station would feature this topic, as well as a call from Julie.

I tuned in. And before the show began, well before, there were those who joined in the dialogue about what the article had done to us, for us, and what we wanted to see happen. For most, besides a retraction and apology, we wanted to see this topic become less taboo, more talked about and action taken to empower the victims/survivors.

The show began, and Julie was magnificent. She spoke about how the article had made her feel, and we all bonded yet again on Twitter as we listened to a fellow Habs fan/tweeter. Then another caller was on the line. Daniel, a fellow Habs fan, a tweeter I did not follow but whose tweets I had seen RT'd from time to time. He was inspirational. Daniel talked about his own sexual assault at the hands of his father, and mentioned how hard it is to go to the authorities when something like that happens. He said something that broke my heart: he said he knew his sister was being victimized as well, and said "I guess that makes me guilty like Pat Hickey says."

I won't talk about the article here but I was starting to see how it could have a negative effect on people.

I will talk about the positive. Suddenly, I was drawn to Daniel's story, and to his strength, and immediately hit "follow" on his twitter account. I tweeted (and followed) Julie, thanking her as well.

And a conversation ensued. We were listening to the show, where dialogue was serious, important, and open. We were bonding on twitter, with people we were listening to as well as reading (from the hosts to the callers). We were resolving to make this world better by taking action when we could, bringing awareness as we can, and just making life more positive by dismissing negativity.

I tweeted: "Folks, we are witnessing something very powerful here tonight." I felt like literally group hugging the people I was in conversation with, some I'd known from before, some I had just begun to follow on Twitter. I felt this light being lifted from what had been a confusing, dark mood, and I saw that the power of people - brought together by social media and a polarizing force - is stronger than any attempt to tear others down.

I read people tweeting Theo Fleury in support, in solidarity, and in thanks for his voice in this area. And I felt more hopeful about the future of humanity brought together by strengths, resolve, survival, and yes, technology.

What is even better is that this is only the beginning. I know those I spoke with tonight will keep up the good fight. And this gives me hope, most of all, for the future my children are going to experience.

Thank you to James, Cathie, Dave Kaufman (whose show highlighted this topic tonight), Marc, and Jay - as well as the aforementioned Julie and Daniel. I will have closed my computer with an incredible sense of optimism. So many nights, during or after Habs games, that is not present. Tonight, drawn together by a common outrage and concern, we transcended the world of hockey in support of those among us who represent so much more. I will not forget tonight. I look forward to these new friendships forged from words on a page and transformed to hearts connected.

Peace to all - I've got your backs!

An Open Letter to Pat Hickey

2011-12-12T18:13:00.007-05:00

(photo courtesy of nationalpost.com)

Today, the Montreal Gazette posted a column by resident sports writer, Pat Hickey. I like Mr. Hickey, I think his analysis of hockey (which is the sport I follow) is very keen and he knows what he is talking about.

But today's column, about NHL'er Theo Fleury, goes beyond the pale. Mr. Hickey has crossed the line by blaming the victim of sexual assault (Mr. Fleury) and he says some inflammatory, ugly and accusatory things.

I have emailed Pat Hickey (whose email can be found in the above link) and will post the letter here. I urge readers to follow my lead, and the lead of others who have already done so, and write Mr. Hickey asking for a retraction and an apology. We have to stand up for those brave victims of ANY abuse, or we will see fewer and fewer come forth. Praise them, don't criticize them.

My letter:

Mr. Hickey,

I am dismayed and disappointed by your column of December 12, 2011, entitled Theo Fleury hypocritcal for blasting justice system's handling of Graham James case. You display an utter lack of sensitivity and knowledge on the topic of sexual assault victims that not only shows a deep insensitivity but criticizes a man we should be lauding as a hero.

You claim that Theo Fleury has no right to be angry that James is free on bail because he, Fleury, did not report the coach's crimes of sexual assault. You claim that Fleury remained silent because of his status as a hockey celebrity, and that he didn't show courage. Mr. Hickey, do YOU know that this is the exact reason Theo Fleury remained silent? Do YOU know his state of mind, heart, emotions, or thoughts when it came to speaking up?

You say that "nobody should question Fleury's decision to remain silent" and yet, you criticize him for doing so. A double standard? A dangerous one, in my opinion.

Yes, if he had come forth sooner, James might have received a harsher sentence. But the fact is, sir, he did NOT. For his own reasons. And yet, instead of applauding him for speaking up at all, you denigrate him for not doing so in a timely manner.

As anyone who has been the victim of any assault will tell you, there is a sense of shame, of stigma, of guilt, confusion and terror that are all wrapped up in the aftermath of being victimized. Victims sometimes feel they may have done something to encourage, or deserve the assault and nothing could be further from the truth.

And yet, you purport to know why Mr. Fleury remained silent. Unless he has stated those reasons himself, unless he told you personally, how can we even know? And no matter the reasons, can anyone on this side of the fence blame him??

So often, victims remain in the realm of their abusers; there is a fear that cannot be defined. No one has the right to state that there is a prescribed reaction time or fashion; every victim is different, every victim suffers in his/her own way and no one can be faulted for reacting differently from another in the same situation. Yet, you blatantly compare Mr. Kennedy and Mr. Fleury, stating one is the hero and the other, the enabler. THAT, Mr. Hickey, is the most appalling of all. You have, in effect, blamed the victim here. Has Theo Fleury not suffered enough? Now he has to absorb your accusations and perhaps struggle with another form of guilt? Do you not think he has already questioned having stayed silent for so long?

You write as though you know Fleury's state of mind. You state he must know the meaning of the word "enabler" - how can you put yourself in his shoes unless you, yourself, have walked his path? How can any of us?

Furthermore, you state "...if we have to find a poster boy for abuse, we can do better than Theoren Fleury." Let me counter: we need no "poster boy" for abuse. Your flippancy astounded me.

But I will counter with more: Theo Fleury, on Twitter and in the public eye, has brought awareness to the topic of sexual abuse (not only in sports but everywhere) in ways that others cannot. He has used his celebrity and his ability to interact with social media to make sure the world knows how insidious a practice sexual assault is, how it must be stopped, and how to help recognize victims. I say, if we DID need a poster boy for abuse, give me Theoren Fleury any day! At least he is using his celebrity for some good, instead of slamming others who are not yet strong enough to come forth!

Mr. Hickey, in my opinion, you must retract your column. You must not only apologize to Theoren Fleury, but to victims of assault and abuse everywhere. To let this column stand would be a travesty of journalism, of decency, and of humanity.

Respectfully,
Lissa Albert
Dollard-des-Ormeaux, Quebec

2011-12-12T18:13:00.001-05:00

Doomsday for the Habs!

2011-12-07T09:11:00.013-05:00

It's the cusp of 2012. The Year Of The End Of Days. Okay, maybe the Mayans were off by 12 months. Maybe we're seeing it now.

After all, the Habs have lost more than they've won, they can't beat even the puniest teams, and they're hardly in playoff position at 2 points shy of a spot. The coach is letting his ship sink without so much as a Titanic effort to lock himself in the control room and go down with the rats. The manager is remaining as quiet as the Ghost he is often called, and where is the owner of the team? Taste-testing his beer? Wake up, guys, this is DOOMSDAY!

Now. Everyone take a breath. Our Habs haven't done what we'd hoped - nay, expected of them this season. They haven't dominated, they haven't dazzled, hell, they haven't even won! So let's just bury 'em in the rubble of their failings and go find us another team, huh?

Or...

We can be the true Habs fans we are so proud to embody: we can bemoan the losses, analyze the failings, certainly cry in our bières and then look forward to the next game with the hope and optimism that comes from believing in a team - not just any team, OUR team.

We can stop calling for heads to roll. We can stop marking the end of a season that is barely 2 months old. We can definitely STOP making blasphemous comparisons between our team and *shudders* the Leafs.

And we can band together and support a team that is obviously struggling. After all, what's the worst that can happen if we do that, we'll be disappointed with a loss? Look at the BEST that can happen: we can celebrate as a cohesive fanbase, supportive of our team, proud when they win, and accepting when they lose.

I know what will greet me when this blog gets posted:

We are deserving of a better team.

Of course we are. Every fan is. Do we have a team that sucks? I, for one, am not prepared to say that. I never am. And never will.

You need to be realistic, not so optimistic all the time.

Maybe I AM being realistic. I see the team's struggling, I'm sad when we lose, and I sure as hell would like to see the world hold my Habs in the high esteem we've enjoyed before. But there are worse qualities than optimism, folks.

Statistically, we have no chance of making playoffs.

Statistical rules were made to be broken. Our Habs have broken many in the past and will do so again. And - worst comes to worst - if we don't make playoffs? Next year is another year. At least we've enjoyed playoffs for so many years when other teams are resigned to never seeing post-season play. Constantly. Chronically. And a new season, new lessons learned, not such a dismal future.

We're the Habs, we should be better, with our history, our longevity and our experience.

And ya know what I say to that? We're Habs fans. We're strong and proud, we're together and loud, we're historically known too. Are you ready to silence your voice? Are you going to crawl under a rock of shame because the team is struggling? Do you not want to be part of something positive instead of wallowing in every loss? Are you ready to throw YOUR team under the proverbial bus?

Shut up.

Well, there are those who will think, post, repeat that retort. And that one has no answer, so I won't even bother. Oh, and I won't shut up.

I will NOT bury my team. I will - realistically - admit that we've turned in some dismal performances. What, you've never bombed on a test before, only to go onto graduation? Pick yourselves up, loyal fans, stand with the proud and the optimistic, it's lighter on this side, and we have cookies (even if they DO cost $12 at the Bell Centre)! And if you want to boycott games, I will gladly relieve you of your sucky tickets to see a sucky team suck. </tongue-in-cheek>

Two more things:

GO HABS GO!

BELIEVE!

Finally - A Collective Sigh of Relief

2011-10-26T22:26:00.011-04:00

(Pic courtesy of Habs Talk Radio http://tinyurl.com/6gzl3t2)

As I write, the smile is plastered across my face. My Habs broke the slide and won their first home game of this season, their 2nd win. This game was overdue but I believe things happen for a reason. What the reason is, we may never know. But it isn't important. I think we all learned something from the last couple of weeks.

We learned what it feels like to lose, too many times. That doesn't feel good but in many ways, it banded many of us together. I saw tempers flare, confidence shattered, and people snapping for really no reason. But I also saw fans digging DEEP for the belief in our team, never ever giving up or giving out. Never losing faith or hope that the Habs would come back. And sharing that loyalty with others in both camps.

And come back, they did. Winning 5-1 over the Philadelphia Flyers (now, at least throughout this season, to be known as The Team The Habs Beat), a team many had said would beat us easily. Our guys played hard, constant, fast and aggressive hockey, never letting up on the pressure, and you could FEEL the desperation to win. And the last 10 seconds, P.K. Subban dipsy-doodling with the puck in our zone, running the seconds down, wanting to be the first to congratulate his friend Carey Price and hand him the game puck for his 100th win (which had eluded him this season so far) - that was sweet giddy laughter that felt SO good to emote!

The firing-the-coach talk still continues, despite the surprise firing of A.C. Perry Pearn announced just 90 minutes before the game. I am not engaging in that talk, nor have I ever. It's all about the game, belief in the team, and the victory.

Now, one win at a time. We face the Bruins next, tomorrow and Saturday. Do I think we can win? I sure do! Because I have an undying loyalty for my team, and a neverending store of positive energy to send their way. I have seen others cautiously happy for the win ("we still only won 2 this season" and "it's only 1 win") and I get that too - can't get too confident, though it's not as strong as my abject conviction that we have what it takes and will get the job done.

But it's the team that will take this momentum and drive the point home: We are the Habs. We are the most storied, oldest and most Cup-winning franchise in the League. And NO ONE can keep us down for very long!

Go Habs Go - and well done, guys, you did an awesome job of rejuvenating this city and your fans!!

Late to the Party: Through My Eyes

2011-10-24T22:18:00.011-04:00

Sometimes, when you walk into a party later into the evening, you see things differently. By the time you arrive, the guests are pleasantly tipsy, or all-out drunk, they've eaten, they've mingled, they've become Part of the Crowd. Your presence may or may not register, but you are on the periphery no matter how many people you may know.

But your perspective is unique. You aren't tipsy. Your vision isn't clouded by alcohol or revelry. You may see what's there more clearly, or you may take your objectivity and turn it into your own story to write. You may feel left out or you may enjoy the separation between the Group and yourself.

The above analogy describes my experience in this, my 2nd season as a Habs fan. I commune with other Habs fans on Twitter, and can discuss only within my limited knowledge of hockey culture. I ask questions, learn and absorb, but my knowledge is also fed to me via the very subjective opinions of die-hard fans. I listen to people like Dave Stubbs, Brian Wilde and Michael Farber for the professional points of view - and sometimes I need them to tell me what/how to feel. For example, my question this depressing season so far has been, "should I panic?"

I've been told by the die-hards on Twitter that yes, I should panic (I'm not ready to do so). The Habs won't make playoffs, we're already too far out of playoff position. I've been told it's the coach's fault, the manager's fault, and in my ~~naive~~ ~~uninformed~~ inexperienced exposure to the game, I don't know that I can believe that 100%. I don't see the coach missing open nets, or giving up goals. Does he make a difference? I know that much to be true. But I don't believe the players are losing because he's "lost the room" or is unemotional.

So I try to keep positive. I don't believe firing the coach is the answer. (But what do I know?) I don't believe players on the ice are showing lackluster performance because they hate the coach or refuse to play for him or aren't communicating with him. You can take the conductor away from the orchestra but if they've played together long enough, the piece will be as flawless as if there were a baton directing them.

I find tempers flaring on social media. I see fans turning on the team - booing and swearing at them at the Bell Centre, calling them out via social media. With each one, I get more defensive of my Habs, from the players to the management. I try not to speak about things I don't know or cannot speak of with any authority. Like the new girl in a foreign school, I latch onto posts of those like-minded individuals whose opinions validate mine. My positivity and upbeat optimism seems to rankle others who would prefer to believe the worst. I state my opinion but fear my voice of inexperience diminishes the message.

What I do know is emotions. And humanity. And while I don't know that our losing streak is a surefire bet against even making the playoffs (because my logical mind doesn't get that, with 74 games left till the April playoffs, that fact can even be determined), and I tend to eschew statistics (being a researcher gives me the right to question EVERY stat), I can only speak as a loving and loyal fan: I Believe. And no matter what it takes, or how long it takes, I know the Habs can come back and show us what we know they're made of - they are mes Canadiens de Montréal, and they'll regroup!

Reaping Rewards in Rivalry

2011-09-26T23:04:00.017-04:00

When I answered the call to enter Eric Engels's blog-writing contest ("what does the Habs/Bruins rivalry mean to you?"), I enjoyed writing the piece I did. I always love writing, and the excuse to do so. It was easy to access the content of that blog; it was in my heart, and in very recent memory of Habs/Bruins incidents from last season.

When I won, it was an amazing feeling - I love writing, and writing about hockey isn't something I can do like Eric, or any of the other bloggers I love to read; I can't do stats, I can't do history, I can't even talk about play or action, at least not with the expertise that comes from longevity as a fan and keen knowledge of the game and the culture. But I CAN write about the human factor, I can access that which we all share and I can write about hockey in that vein, no problem. Having my blog published as Eric's gameday blog, as well as many of my Twitter friends taking the time to read, retweet, and comment on my blog and my win, was heady! To be rewarded (and so complimented!) on my writing sweetens the satisfaction of writing, and I believe I will be starting a new blog shortly. Details to follow.

But tonight, the rivalry between the Habs and Bruins rewarded me, and my sons. See, Eric had gotten 2 tickets to the game, and the winner of his blog contest was to accompany him to see the Habs and Bruins in preseason action tonight. Long story short, he gave me both tickets, I bought a third, and I was able - thanks to HockeyTickets.ca and Eric Engels - to take my two sons to this game. The third ticket was in the greys (affordable and let's face it, anywhere you sit in the Bell Centre is an optimum seat), so the three of us agreed that each boy would sit with me for a period and a half. And tonight I would premiere my new P.K. Subban jersey, finally to be part of the Habs-jersey-wearing crowd at a hockey game!! (Sometimes, it's good to not stand out but to blend in!)

We began with dinner at a Montreal landmark restaurant - Mr. Steer. Delicious burgers, great place pre-game, and just up the street from the Bell Centre. We arrived shortly after Eric, and when we got to the table, the two tickets were just sitting in front of him. Talk about effective! I introduced him to the boys, we all sat down, and the conversation never stopped. My kids were a little starstruck (Eric reports for Hockeybuzz.com as well as CTV Montreal Sports "Habs Hub") but more, they were in their element, talking hockey with a guy who could talk it right back. It looked like Eric was enjoying the kids too. And that makes me even more proud of my boys than ever!

We walked down to the Bell Centre, but before parting (Eric went to the Loft a.k.a. Press Box and we went to our seats), I asked him to pose for a pic with my boys. After all, he IS a local celebrity! (It was a blast to get an "I can see you guys!" text from him after the game began, and we texted back and forth a few times throughout the evening)

Inside, the boys decided that Sam would sit in the reds with me for the first 30 minutes, and Josh for the last. We parted, with instructions to keep in touch via text. When Sam and I walked into Section 118, I think both our jaws needed picking up. What incredible seats!! So close to the action and so bright and big and exciting!

The game began after our very own Michael Cammalleri received the Jean Béliveau Trophy (for community involvement), presented to him by the Gentleman himself. Jean Béliveau, for those who aren't familiar with him, is hockey royalty. Not just Habs royalty, though he is a Canadien through and through (having played for Montreal his entire career, from 1950-1971!), but he is truly one of the most respected men in the hockey world. Eric told us that Mr. Béliveau, if he should make eye contact with someone who is an obvious fan but too shy to say hello, will introduce himself and say hi to the fan. The man just exudes class. When he was introduced and came out on the ice, there was a spontaneous standing ovation by the 21K in attendance. He was visibly moved and it was truly a Moment for me and my kids too.

And then...the Game. Last night, the Bruins slaughtered my poor Habs, 7-3, in Halifax. Would we see a different outcome tonight? Well, we lost but it was a 2-1 loss, our guys played really well, and the refs blew a few non-calls (goalie interference, holding, tripping...blatant stuff the seeing-eye dogs must have missed). Can't blame the refs, I know. But it would have been awesome to see the guys win what would have been their 2nd of the preseason. Not to be. But super exciting because of our location.

When it was time for Sam to go to the other seat, I felt awful - just as awful as I'd felt to send Josh up at the beginning of the game. But my kids are good sports...I am - again - very proud of them. And Josh's ear-to-ear grin when he took his new seat was worth it. Sam and I enjoyed the first 30 minutes, Josh arrived almost minutes before the Canadiens opened the scoring, and I enjoyed the company of each boy for 30 minutes of play. What could have been better? Oh, right. A win!

However, it's preseason. We didn't play the full team, despite the big guns like Plek, Cammy, Gionta, Gorges in the lineup, and Carey Price in nets for the full 60 minutes. We saw Brendan Gallagher work very hard to impress, and do an outstanding job of it. We saw Carey's acrobatics in nets, and Pleky's super-beautiful stride as he hustled down the ice to try to put the puck in goal or steal it from the opponent. We saw Cammy put one in, and best of all, we were back at the Bell Centre, losing our voices in cheers of "Go Habs Go!!!" for another year's fun. I have a good feeling about the regular season. That's just the optimist in me. Every game is a blank slate.

Tonight isn't about the season. It isn't about the players or the strategies. It wasn't even about the scoreboard. It was about the big heart Eric Engels showed me and my kids (yes, I won the blog contest - that was also a thrill but he didn't have to give us both tix), and a new friendship with a super guy; it was about the pure joy I saw on my boys' faces when I first broke the news to them, watched them immediately text and tweet their friends to share it, and their excitement all through today and this evening. That is the huge pile of rewards this rivalry has resulted in, and will continue to live on in the boys' memories, and mine. The lasting aura is enough to make this night a victory.

Rivalry is a Beautiful Thing: Habs v Bruins

2011-09-20T11:31:00.003-04:00

I became a rabid hockey fan in the past year or so. This means, in a nutshell, understanding the game and all its nuances - instead of the previous me, the Scoreboard Celebrant. So of course, it stands to reason that - between the newscasters and social media - I developed a keen understanding of the rivalry between the Montreal Canadiens and Boston Bruins. Little did I know, at the outset, that this is a long-standing feud, more intense than the Hatfields and the McCoys. But I did find out rather quickly how deep those waters run.

I suppose it began with the January victory, last season, where Max Pacioretty scored the winning OT goal and started what would define the rest of the season for every Habs fan, and the NHL itself. It was the human factor I embraced and blogged and hockey was merely the umbrella under which the emotions resided.

On Twitter, where Bruins bashing was more rampant, I refrained; I could recognize the difference between rivalry and attack, and didn't like the attacks on people, no matter their team. Instead, I enjoyed the company of some classy Bruins fans who chose to celebrate the game, not defame its patrons.

The Cup was different - I couldn't watch the celebrations of the team that had beaten us out of a long playoff run. I’d seen the underhandedness of many Boston players and the newbie justice-seeker in me cried out, "where are the refs? Why aren't the rules being followed?" So it hurt to see them go all the way and hoist the Cup that has our name on it more often than any other team.

Flash forward to Season '11-'12: I’m optimistic that the bad feelings have run their course. I can now recognize the rivalry between our two teams, and anticipate thoroughly trouncing them on the scoreboard, with perhaps-naive hopes that dirty plays won't be accepted and good, intense hockey will be the order of any given day. I can now boo the Bruins with the intensity of having earned my Rival Badge. Go Habs GO!

2011-08-31T12:44:00.001-04:00

Statement of Purpose

2011-08-07T21:49:00.001-04:00

Supplement to Application for M.A. Educational Technology

Q. 1: I first became aware of the field of Educational Technology when perusing Concordia’s website a year or so ago. I was trying to decide what to do in my life, which direction to take, and holding a B.A. Specialization in E.C.E., decided to build upon that. When I saw that there is a field entitled “Educational Technology”, it piqued my interest however I did not pursue it further, as at the time, committing to such a program was not feasible in my life. The option and curiosity remained strong in my mind.

Q. 2: I feel that I will succeed in my studies and career as an educational technologist, due to many of my skills and interests. To elaborate:

A) Professionally, I have taught in many different venues. I began teaching after graduation, and I taught in the pre-kindergarten as a primary teacher, but as well, was a substitute teacher in other grades when the need arose. I went on to other venues as is illustrated in my attached resumé. My experience as a teacher in early childhood education is but one facet of my practice.

I became involved in the Oral History project at the Montreal Holocaust Memorial Centre, where I conducted videotaped interviews with Holocaust survivors. I was involved in this project for 7 years, the last two of which saw me conducting most of the interviews done by the Centre, as well as doing most of them without a co-interviewer. Due to my keen interest and burgeoning abilities, I was asked by its coordinator to recruit and train potential new interviewers, which was conducted in the fall of 2000. I wrote a short procedural plan for this purpose, and held several meetings with groups of interested people. As well, I became a short-term employee of the Centre, becoming its interim Remembrance Coordinator in charge of planning and carrying out activities and events of Holocaust remembrance. This included an annual event called Yom Hashoah (Day of the Holocaust). This is a major event at which a tightly choreographed programme is held to commemorate those who perished. Though its purpose is always the same, its theme changes, and I was responsible for culling information and photographs, writing introductions and various portions of the evening, and coordinating the various materials necessary for its smooth implementation. This added to my experience which would prepare me to enter the field of Educational Technology.

Volunteering at my sons’ school rounds out my to-now experience; I am currently in my third year at the library on a weekly basis, and have also been a steady volunteer in the classes to help teachers with the home-reading programme as well as one-on-one mentoring during class time. I have always had a natural desire to teach others, and have succeeded in those efforts I have taken on in my life.

During my time away from the work force, I have become proficient in HTML and web design, as well as enhancing already established artistic skills by expanding them to include digital graphics. The computer has become not only a tool but an enthusiasm for me, and I consider myself advanced in using and understanding the technology involved.

I have also expanded my writing skills to include being published in an internationally circulated artists’ magazine (copies of the two articles written to date are attached). I consider myself to be advanced in communication skills, both written and spoken, as well as possessing the abilities necessary to marry those skills with my capacity to educate others.

B) Upon learning about this field, I realized that all of my abilities, along with new ones to be developed, will meet and complement one another effectively; I realized that Educational Technology is a field in which I could practice and enjoy everything I already possess, as well as growing and learning in other areas. The idea excited me to the point of wanting to explore it further. Taking stock in my life to now, I know that furthering my education, entering a new field of study which would lead to exciting opportunities in a new career, is what I need at this point, and which I am now ready to undertake.

In the above illustrations of my abilities, supplemented by my academic transcript from Concordia, I believe I have shown my ability to study in this field. As well, the wisdom and maturity which comes with age and experience, will serve me well in my capability to excel in my studies and to accomplish all that will be set before me, both academically and professionally. I am keen to learn, eager to grow, and dedicated to this new path I will take.

My conception of the field of educational technology has drastically changed from what I believed it to be, sight unseen. I believe that the field is a wide-ranging one, utilizing today’s growing dependence on and availability of technology to educate others in various venues. I believe that technology can enhance the learning experience, whether that experience is in an academic or professional setting, and that Educational Technology is the programme whereby educators learn how technology (from computers to media) can be brought into service of those purposes. I look forward to honing and expanding my knowledge of and skills in the field.

I am interested in pursuing the non-thesis option, as I would like to learn as much as possible about the field by working within its ranges.

Panic, Negativity, and Bandwagon Jumpers

2011-03-25T11:00:00.008-04:00

We lost in a 7-0 blowout to Boston, last night, of all teams. The head-hanging, the hair-pulling, the band-wagon jumping, the embarrassment, the shame...all of it by Habs fans. Imagine how the team is feeling?! Imagine how they'd feel if they saw the negativity by their own fans bombarding Twitter feeds and Facebook groups everywhere!

So my friend Mike posted to a Facebook group and I was just about ready to leave that group because more negativity is not what this 100-percent-forever-Habs-fan will abide right now.

But he has a point...and so I had to listen and decide whether I would stay in the group...

Mike wrote:

You can tell we’re totally screwed for the playoffs and won't do anything… This season, think of all the blowouts we’ve suffered! We lost to the Sabres 8-2! We lost to the Rangers 10-5! Double digits! Not only that, we lose 6-2 to the Islanders and 8-3 to the Sabres AGAIN!!!??? There’s no way we’re doing anything in the playoffs, NO WAY!

(If these games don't sound immediately familiar, these results are all from the 1992-93 NHL season in which the Canadiens completely sucked in the playoffs, right?)

So chill, people. If you want to come back to the fold after the next win, we'll probably welcome you back - but know that your band-wagoneering days are numbered if you keep hopping on and off at warp speeds. One of these days, the bandwagon might just leave without you.

And then which team will you support?

When it hits out of the blue...

2011-03-23T09:19:00.002-04:00

© Original painting by Juan Bielsa

There are times I miss my mother more than others. I miss her presence in my life, I miss her phone calls, I miss having a mom. But there are times the realization (yes, even after almost 9 years) hits hard, that she's gone, and those times are days like today.

News of the legendary Elizabeth Taylor's death hit the news channels first, and then Twitter, where we carry out conversations in 140 characters (or fewer). And I found myself just thinking to myself, today would have been a day I'd have called my mother to tell her and share this news and memories of Elizabeth Taylor. We'd have talked about all Ms. Taylor's movies, many of them watched together; all Ms. Taylor's husbands (besides my grandmother, my mom knew this stuff cold - usually because of my grandmother); all Ms. Taylor's troubles. She'd have sighed, "Poor lady, she had one of those charmed troubled lives."

It's interesting how someone else's news becomes bigger for me than the news; it becomes a sad reminder of the absences in my life.

Opposite Side of the Emotional Coin

2011-03-11T14:09:00.010-05:00

(photo created by me - to express the City's heart this week)

There have been a lot of emotions running rampant in my city this week. Since The Hit on Canadiens' forward Max Pacioretty by Boston Bruins' Zdeno Chara, hockey fans - and many non-hockey fans - have gone from shock, to fear, anger to outrage, confusion to utter mystification. Yesterday's news that Patch was home brought hope and relief. Letters from Air Canada to the NHL, and Geoff Molson to the home base brought a renewed sense of empowerment. The news that the Montreal police were investigating the Hit brought everything from amusement to derision. And bloggers streamed into my Twitter timeline from Habs Inside/Out's Dave Stubbs after The Hit and after The Decision, to Kyle Roussel, Sports Illustrated's (and Montreal's own) Michael Farber and Montreal Gazette's Red Fisher. The emotions ranged from low to high on every front, and as each blogger weighed in, emotions were renewed.

But what struck me most profoundly of all was the solidarity we were all experiencing. Montreal is a hockey city, and I've never been more aware of that since my hockey awakening began with last season's playoff run. But this week, as we all tweeted (2 days where hundreds upon hundreds of tweets updated by the second and I made many new Twitter friends), posted on Facebook, called into radio shows, emailed one another, and kept abreast of the story online, I felt a pride that was only strengthened by our togetherness.

We were banding together in positive energy sent to MaxPacs. We bonded over the anger that his assailant got off scot-free. We agreed on analogies comparing street thugs and hockey bullies, criminal behavior vs "part of the game", and we shared our resolve to have our voices heard as fans, fanatics and humans.

I found myself reflecting on my city. My City. Montreal's been home to me all my life, but I've seen it in a new light being a new fanatic of the game of hockey. I watch American broadcasts of our games and swell with pride when they show pictures of downtown, the Bell Centre, and talk about our history - hockey and non-hockey related. I travel the subway with my kids, on the way to a Habs game, and feel At One with every other attendee going my way, wearing the bleu-blanc-rouge. I talk to people from other cities who, even if they root for another team, laud the electricity felt at the Bell Centre. I go to games and feel a new awareness of how lucky I am to live in a city which has a European flavor, a metropolitan buzz, and yet sometimes - like this week - boils down to a village mentality where we are all one with each other.

So instead of blogging anger (which I still feel) or loathing (which is now stronger than I thought I'd feel toward another team and its fans) or disgust (if I even qualify that I WILL blog about it), I would like to share my profound love of being a Montrealer, my extraordinary pride in my city and its citizens, and my continued support for my team, its players, and the fans who help make Loving My Habs that much more of a global experience.

Go Habs Go!!!

Writing the NHL Corporate Sponsors

2011-03-10T01:50:00.008-05:00

Will you help? Inspired by Air Canada's letter to the NHL, in which the company threatens to withdraw its significant corporate sponsorship if the NHL does not reconsider its lukewarm stance on dangerous hits and headshots (a HUGE impact should it happen), I have drafted the letter below to appeal to other corporate sponsors of the NHL. Besides Air Canada, there is a long list, including McDonald's, Pepsi, Bell, Scotiabank, Canadian Tire, etc. I would like to know if you're on board - if you'd like to sign it. If so, I will arrange for that to happen in an electronic manner, and let's take some action.

Max Pacioretty deserves our support, and if this is something I can help to make happen, to vindicate the non-action taken on Zdeno Chara for his ugly hit on our player, it will be an honor.

The Letter:

Dear ____________________________

As you are no doubt aware, in a game vs. Boston at the Bell Centre in Montreal, Quebec on Tuesday night (March 8^th, 2011), Canadiens forward, Max Pacioretty, took a hard hit from Bruins captain, Zdeno Chara, who rode him along the boards to the turnbuckle (post holding the Plexiglass that separates the two benches). Pacioretty’s head and neck took the brunt of the hit, he slumped to the ice where his head hit the surface, and was knocked unconscious. He was transported to hospital where he has been diagnosed with a severe concussion and a non-displaced fractured fourth cervical vertebra in his neck.

This is a very serious injury. Not only did those watching – in person and on television throughout the nation and beyond – not know whether Pacioretty was breathing, not only did those watching not know whether he would ever walk again, not only is his prognosis unknown at this time…but at the very least, his season is over. This is a player who began with the Canadiens December 12, 2010, and has played with his full heart and soul, winning games and scoring goals and assists (17 points in total until the injury that hospitalized him). Max Pacioretty has become a central part of the line-up, someone the Habs have counted on to go to the net and play the game in the very best way he can, while maintaining the team spirit and integrity of the game of hockey. He has been sidelined for an indefinite amount of time by a player 6’9, who should have known better.

As you are also aware, the National Hockey League has not taken a very firm position against headshots and dangerous hits (both of which describe the one on Pacioretty). There have been a few perfunctory suspensions, but nothing that resonates with players who return to the ice only to execute the same types of hits again. As well, the inconsistent NHL has sanctioned players for merely talking (case in point, Sean Avery’s 6-game suspension resulting from some derogatory remarks he made in December 2008, about his ex-girlfriend who was now dating another hockey player) or mere gestures (case in point, James Wisniewski’s October 2010 2-game suspension for making a lewd gesture to another player). However, the day after what could have been a crippling hit to Max Pacioretty, Zdeno Chara was in a phone meeting with Mike Murphy for a review of his actions. (It should be noted that Murphy stood in for Colin Campbell who could not associate himself with this case as his son plays for Boston – a problematic situation in and of itself, in the NHL) Chara was not penalized in any supplemental fashion (other than the game misconduct and 5-minute penalty on Tuesday night) for what happened, not even a perfunctory suspension or fine, and that has reverberate through the hockey world, polarizing fans, players, writers and coaches for and against such measures.

Pacioretty, speaking out today after having seen the video for the first time, said the following:

“I am upset and disgusted that the league didn’t think enough of (the hit) to suspend him. I’m not mad for myself, I’m mad because if other players see a hit like that and think it’s okay, they won’t be suspended, then other players will get hurt like I got hurt. I thought the league would do something, a little something. I’m not talking a big number, I don’t know, one game, two games, three games…whatever, but something to show that it’s not right.”

I am writing today, with a list of supporting signatures, to draw your attention to the words of Denis Vandal, director of marketing/communications at Air Canada, who – in a letter to the NHL Wednesday March 9^th – expressed concern over recent incidents of headshots and concussions. Mr. Vandal wrote,

“From a corporate social responsibility standpoint, it is becoming increasingly difficult to associate our brand with sports events which could lead to serious and irresponsible accidents; action must be taken by the NHL before we are encountered with a fatality.

"Unless the NHL takes immediate action with serious suspension to the players in question to curtail these life-threatening injuries, Air Canada will withdraw its sponsorship of hockey."

I would like to appeal to your sense of integrity, moral decency, ethical considerations, and your own concern for lending your corporate sponsorship to an organization that seems to feel nothing short of death will change its attitude on dangerous hits. Will you, too, stand up for players who deserve to be part of a league that stands for safety and justice in the case of borderline criminal behavior? Will you, too, contact the NHL and voice your own intentions to reconsider your corporate sponsorship of its organization? Leaders like your company can set the tone for our current players, those who will follow, and youngsters who aspire to the NHL, all of whom are questioning the lack of action against a player whose flagrant disregard for the life of another almost resulted in the ultimate tragedy. Your leadership will be lauded by those of us who stand for justice. For players like the Montreal Canadiens’ #67, Max Pacioretty, the Pittsburgh Penguins’ #87 Sidney Crosby, Boston Bruins’ #91, Marc Savard, and others who have had career- or season-ending injuries, you must represent them with your voices raised for justice.

Thanking you for your attention, we remain,

Hopefully yours,

(signatures)

*********************************************************************

If you're on board - comment on this post. If we get enough people willing to sign this (and feel free to pass along this blog entry), I'll take care of the rest.

Let's do it for Patches!!

Habs Loyalty

2011-03-01T10:25:00.004-05:00

Okay, I'm coming up to my first anniversary of Total Habs Fanaticism. That would be the turning point in my life where I ceased to be a "clap for the team when they score" fan, and began paying attention to game strategies, behind-the-scenes goings-on, a little of the Business of Hockey, and even yesterday's trade frenzy. My Hockey Education began with the 2010 playoff season, where the Habs' Cinderella run coincided with my being a double hockey-mom (TWO kids playing) and having no choice but to absorb the culture which was growing as fast as my boys, in my household.

So besides becoming utterly intense when it comes to games, understanding how every point counts and treating each regular-season game as if it were a Game 7 in the playoffs, I became fiercely protective of my team. I saw, last year, how so-called fans turned on the team (and its individual players) the second we lost, or a player did a stupid move. It made me think - what could cause me to turn on the team like that?

Answer: Nothing. Nothing short of dirty playing (à la Matt Cooke) or unlikeable players (à la Chris Pronger, Mike Richards, and down the line) or incredibly consistent stupidity (hasn't happened yet). So, in short, nothing can turn me against my Habs. I am a fan to the end, and even when they're playing in a less stellar manner than those Game 7s, I cannot find myself criticizing them.

Does this make me less savvy than the die-hard hockey-knowledgeable people I know? Maybe, in some ways. But part of my love for my team is my faith in their ability. And if this isn't the year, it isn't the year. All I care about is if we've been entertained (we have), enjoyed success (we HAVE), seen miracles (Boston 2-0 for 3 periods, Habs win 3-2, anyone?) and felt the pride in our team, our city, and our reputation. We have. Or, at least, I have.

No one can bash my team. I expect it from adversaries, I expect it from fans of opposing teams, I definitely expect it from the fierce rivalries but the vitriol I've seen this season has been an eye opener. I don't have that many non-Habs fans on my Twitter account (by choice, btw) but I've seen reposts and it can be shocking, at times, how ugly the comments can be.

But to see it from people who wear the bleu-blanc-rouge in their Twitter pics or avatars...that's discouraging.

Short Twitter 101: in Twitter, the # used for the same word or phrase by a large number of posters will cause it to "trend", meaning it will show up in a list in the sidebar on which people can click and join the trend with their own posts. It can be fun (the "#BadRockGroups" trend was fun and creative) but it can also show what people are talking about, in Canada, USA, World, etc.

The latest to add to my discouragement is a derogatory nickname for one of our players. He is definitely not showing the star quality he did last year, the quality he is being paid multi-millions for, but does that mean I will start a trend on Twitter, or join one, to put him down to all who follow me? Does that mean I will use a hashtag to make sure that he, or his teammates or friends, will see that I've jumped on the Bash-This-Guy bandwagon? No. Will he care if I, in particular, do so? Probably not. But I will. He's on our team. Do I wish he'd sit up straighter and take notice of the game going on in front of him? Of course. But he's one player. We have many more and most of those are pulling their weight. We win as a team, we lose as a team.

Am I judging those who bash? No. But I hope they won't judge me for keeping this sometimes-idealistic faith in my team, a faith that translates to hope, and excitement, and anticipation, and love for a team that has given me a new passion at this stage of my life, one I can share with my children, my dad, and friends, old and new.

Peace, guys.

Oh, and...

#GoHabsGo!!!

The Business of Unfriending

2011-01-14T08:25:00.019-05:00

Foreword - actually written after this blog entry but posted here on top: I can see this is the first in what will undoubtedly become a series of reflections on the topic - this is written after a week's worth of debate and discourse over one event in particular...read on and let me know what you think!

I've been unfriended a small handful of times on Facebook. And while I'm not a "right fighter" (thank you Dr. Phil, for another super term), I will opine vigorously in any discussion or debate in which I might find myself. Whether it's on my FB page, or another's, I tend to express myself in the most forthright ways I can. This includes the old-fashioned idea of "saying it like it is". Sugar coat? Not me. Respectful? To the core. Civil? Never anything but.

In the spate of recent political issues that have arisen over the tragedy in Tucson, I have expressed my outrage over the witch hunt involving the political right, the rolled eyes following the President's speech (mocked by the political right) and pretty much everything in between. I have been finding a new political voice in myself, and I consider myself to be extremely well read, totally willing to inform myself on those issues with which I am not familiar, able to stick with a point of view that I feel comfortable with, instead of swaying with the wind, and utterly, confidently literate in my abilities to express those points of view.

So, now embracing the Libertarian philosophy, I've found myself ticking off the right, the left, and their minions, by the handful. It's been an eye-opener. When people refute one's comments, they do so with their opinions stated louder (most of the time, just restated, or others join in with the same words or ideas - at least, in these instances I've experienced). I tend to take those opinions and back up my own (any good research student knows how to do that!), in coherent, literate fashion. I will say it again: always with civility and respect. Never using CAPITALS TO SHOUT or a thousand exclamation points!!!!! to emphasize my statement, I have learned to properly communicate in this arena.

After several go'rounds with people on a page, the response (whether it is right- or left-wing related) denigrates to "you don't know what you're talking about" or "you're dead wrong" or the one I really loved, "Lissa's Canadian...a hike should be taken" (that was the first time I'd been thrown out of a conversation because Canadians weren't qualified enough to comment on a USA issue). My response to that one is always, "this is not a political issue - this is a human issue, it affects us all, and if we don't come together without pointing fingers, the human race is in trouble.

I've been told to "shut up" (even in jest, when the person saying it is someone I don't know - or care to know, this is the epitome of disrespect) and was even chastised by someone who told me "Enough! Move away from your computer!" As if my keyboard were the culprit and my fingers were acting of their own accord.

In those times, I know when I'm not wanted, and happily leave those who wish to debate with like-minded "opponents" to their homogeneous yes-parties ("don't you think this is true?" "YES!" "Do you agree with me?" "YES!" - boring, if you ask me - especially when there are obviously other perspectives to be mined).

But the few times I have encountered wonderful exchanges were when, on a friend's page, one of her friends and I held different views but acknowledged each other's perspective respectfully, and found common ground in other areas. Or the blog where I commented, was disagreed with but the poster mentioned he liked the Montreal Canadiens - instant winner!

It doesn't take much to smile at someone even if we don't agree with them. But I've found vitriol on top of vitriol in the past week, and at first it really bothered me. Then I was advised, "you can get along to go along, or you can stick with the courage of your own convictions." That gave me strength, and renewed self-confidence and the jabs ceased to bother me. See, had I been a less confident person, less self-aware and weaker in my self-dignity, I would have crumbled. But I have learned so much about myself in the last few years, it has served me well in heated moments like the ones I've experienced this week.

So when someone who had befriended me out of the blue because of a common interest in African wildlife (and I did what I rarely do - accepted an unknown person's friend request) stated, a couple of nights ago, that sadly her country has degenerated to the point where it was "no better than any other country out there", I cautioned her by saying a little humility would go a long way. Canada is a damn fine country and I understand the USA is used to being a super power, but that to lump "every other country" in a lower echelon, on a public page, was a little insensitive of her to do. She came back vehemently, telling me that she thinks I should get a grip - that if we were face to face, she'd be afraid I'd physically attack her. Laughable? Yes. Disturbing? Yes. Why? Because never had I been anything but civil, never had I invoked any violent metaphors (being oh-so-cautious of PC'ness these days *rolls eyes*) and was suddenly being accused of the capability of physical violence? I retorted by telling her those exact things, and that she seemed to be the one who should "get a grip". Next thing I knew? She's unfriended me.

That's okay - it's everyone's right to do what they feel will keep their world positive and happy. But some people do so in order to remain insular as well, and those are the people who cannot see another point of view without feeling their own threatened. I feel sorry for those people, but I cannot take responsibility for their actions. It's Miguel Ruiz's 2nd Agreement: don't take things personally. "Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering." (thank you don Miguel! And I highly recommend his books)

Unfriending happens. I don't take it personally. I know what I have to offer others, I will not change my perspective to keep a "friend" who has the capability of leaving a "friendship" the second something doesn't go their way in a conversation. I can honestly say I've never unfriended anyone on the basis of differing opinions. The one time I did unfriend someone was when I felt threatened.

In my research, I have learned that everywhere we turn, in the online venue especially, there is capacity to harm with words. Those who don't know my background cannot know that I am probably, with every word I write, analyzing my posts for any possible harmful tone. Those who do know it should know better than to heap any sort of blame or ill will on me. I've been accused of many things by those who don't know me - and that's okay (sort of - accusations had better be backed up but there will always be those who do so reactively). But when those who are aware of my research, of my work, and of my sense of urgency that we eradicate bullying and cyberbullying, accuse me of that very practice, it is a reflection of their insecurity, their unwillingness to see another point of view, and their blindness to accepting that someone else might have a good point they could learn from and that could help them grow personally.

Unfriending - to me - is just the sign that those people want to live in their own world without being challenged by those who might see through their veiled attempts to be "right", without being surrounded by all facets of the diamond (the world is flat?) and don't want to leave a cocoon of harmony falsely created by a single-perspective world.

Or maybe they just don't like me. *shrugs*

I welcome people of all facets to my Facebook, blog, twitter and messenger, because I welcome all people into my life. I welcome your comments. And I've heard many people say they welcome debate - but go on to limit it, usually to their point of view (which makes it a boring debate, if that at all)....but I truly do welcome debate. We're not schoolchildren here and I don't have to give you guidelines on how to treat one another but being so sensitive to cyberbullying, it astounds me to see the number of "debates" that are vicious fights (not even arguments!).

**NB: I have quoted directly from some of the exchanges I have had. If you should be reading this blog and recognize any of the passages, please know they were used for illustration purposes only and I am not pointing fingers (and have not named names); this has been an enlightening week and I feel I've grown just from handling many of the encounters I have had. So if you do recognize something - you have my sincere thanks for the ability to learn from those exchanges! (and for the blog material)**

Boudreau vs. Pop 'n Fresh

2010-12-20T09:54:00.004-05:00

I have always contended, since the playoffs this past Spring anyway, that Bruce Boudreau reminds me of the Pillsbury Dough Boy. Need proof? I put this up for Tyg's readers but my own can enjoy the fun too!

Sam thinks it's mean - but I'm not being mean-spirited. I'm just doing what the late, great Spy Magazine used to do: Separated at Birth? (I mean, they were mean - they compared Martha Grahm to a rhesus monkey, for heaven's sake - THAT'S mean!)

Decide for yourselves...discuss.

Habs vs. Leafs - November 20th, 2010 - An Experience

2010-12-18T11:12:00.009-05:00

(Click to see the photo larger, in all its shutout glory)

Inspired by my new friend Tygerlylly, and this blog entry in particular, I have to write about that night.

We got the opportunity for the cheap seats for this game, and when I told the kids we had tickets, I'd just gotten them...it was a day off school for them. I woke them specifically to tell them and Josh, my regularly-zombie-like-in-the-morning 17-year-old, actually woke in an instant with a big grin. Sam, then 13, was incredulous. "We're going to see Toronto?" Yes. "We're going to be at a Leafs and Habs game?" No, a Habs and Leafs game, but yes. He was ecstatic.

But I had no clue what to expect - I'd been to my first Habs game in YEARS just that September, a pre-season game we won against Ottawa, but I had never been to this match-up. (For those not in the know, there is a deep - usually friendly - rivalry between Montreal and Toronto, on many levels; but in hockey, it's personal, it's religious, and it's fiercely fun) I was told to watch out, it will be a very emotional arena, and wow, was it ever!

Just the Metro ride was anticipation. But when we arrived at the Bell Centre, we were met by pockets of blue and white jerseys. I'd expected some Leafs fans, but this many? Then I remembered that the Als were about to decimate the Argos the next day for the Eastern Conference Grey Cup finals (for my non-Canadian friends - that's our Super Bowl and yes, we put the Toronto Argos away and went on to win the Cup for the 2nd year in a row), and it all made sense. The first guy I encountered, in his group, said, "go Leafs!" I didn't look at him - he was massive and I'm not - but I said, "Well, no, actually, I hope you're not too disappointed when we beat your team tonight. But hey, welcome to my city!" I got out of there pretty fast.

Got our seats, kids wanted food but the warm-up started, so we rushed back to the seats. The roars greeting the Habs were expected; the boos greeting the Leafs were as well. But the volume was WAYYYY up and the grin on my face started to become permanent. There were pockets of Leafs fans throughout the stands, chanting their pathetic encouragements for their team - to which I started my robust "Go Habs Go!" Of course that's all a Habs fan needs, and soon, it was Dueling Team Chants.

When the teams came out on the ice for the beginning of the game, after the flag-bearers did their thing, the arena went dark and the announcer began talking about the late Pat Burns. I knew there would be a tribute, and the hush that fell over the normally bustling Bell Centre was instant. They talked about Pat, and then a short video (well worth your time) was played. The fact that he'd coached both teams playing this night was incredibly poignant. There had been rivalry in the stands but we all cheered together as one team for this coach. When the ice became a portrait of Pat and the logos for all 4 of his teams, we were asked for a moment of silence (you can see this in the video) - I had never thought the Bell Centre, at a hockey game - a Habs vs Leafs no less - would be this silent. I was overcome with emotion as everyone paid tribute to this honorable man.

Then the game. And WOW. Scoreless first period had me standing in line, antsy to get food and back to my seat, and suddenly I felt a Presence behind me. A tower, no less, of a man - and all I could see was blue and white because being (as Tyg likes to put it) "fun-sized", I came up to this guy's navel, that's how big he was. No way was I going to start up with THIS Leafs fan! But he was greeted heartily by comrades from his faction as well as ribbed good-naturedly by Habs fans and employees of the Bell Centre who passed us on their way to other places.

I saw the count-down clock getting closer to the 2nd period, and left my line. Food could wait. Hockey could not.

When Jeff Halpern scored that first goal, the place erupted. My throat was already raw from cheering for the Habs and how they dominated the ice (our penalty kills looked like power plays as we kept the puck well in front of Gustavsson for many of those minutes). But this exceeded ALL expectation (and decibel level)!! The animators in our section went up and down the steps high-fiving everyone, till they came to the lone Toronto fans in our section who didn't want to high-five anyone (awwwww...but why?). The Centre was in a frenzy as the announcer boomed out Halpern's name, and it was Game On.

I got my food for the 3rd period (note to self - and anyone visiting Bell Centre: get your pizza in the first period or intermission; by the time you get in in the third, it's rewarmed and not very cheesy at all) which proved to be even more exciting as Toronto TRIED to rally. A very lovely, well-placed pass by Mike Komisarek gave Cammy our insurance goal. But wait! Komi doesn't play for Montreal anymore! Oops!! Even better!!

That goal was the one that had me losing a few notches of hearing but not caring one bit. It was 3rd period, we were on our way to a shut-out, and it was the Leafs!!

When the voice boomed "one minute left in the period" I thought the rafters would come down. They tried playing hard but...it was the Leafs. And we played for all we were worth to get Carey Price his shut-out prize. When the countdown to the end of the period threatened to explode the roof off the place, I was ecstatic - my boys were beside themselves, and this was the night I'd hoped to create for them - but I got it back in spades.

Walking down the steps, everyone singing the olé song at the top of their lungs, I didn't seem to meet those pockets of Leafs fans I'd seen spouting at the beginning of the game. Hmmmm...could they have left EARLY?

The first order of business, after getting settled, was to text a rabid Leafs fan the photo of the scoreboard. He wasn't amused, but it's all in good fun (which is also one reason I HAD to be at a winning game - he'd have trounced me had we lost).

I knew this game would be filled with emotions of all sorts (added to by the Pat Burns tribute) but I had never experienced a night at a hockey game that would have me saying, "I wish I could see this game all over again." Me? Reliving a game? I'm not a new hockey fan, I'm just new to understanding the sport, and my fanaticism has burst to levels heretofore unknown to me! But it wasn't just the game, it was the entire spirit at the Bell Centre that made me feel so much a part of a group that is as cohesive as a huge family. Strangers high-fiving one another, talking about the game like it was a family reunion, and it made me see the heart of what sports can do: bring people together in entertainment and a little bit of escape in a long week or month, or a tough time. Nothing bonds like a common experience and when that experience is bound by a deep commitment, there are no limits to the wonders it can bring, truly. And yes, I know it's a hockey game - but it made me think about what this sport does - for people, for my City, for my kids, and now, for me.

After the game, my boys proclaimed their "perfect record" - they had been to a Habs-Tampa Bay game in February with my dad (their first); I got them tickets to the 3rd game of the Eastern Conference Final against the Flyers in May; we saw the pre-season game against Ottawa in September and now, this was their 4th Habs game. Each game my kids have attended, the Habs have won. I think I'll buy those boys season tickets!

Ticking off the masses

2010-12-05T16:33:00.007-05:00

In the past couple of weeks, I noticed - as I'm sure so many of you have - the cartoon character profile pics popping up on Facebook, along with a status: "Change your profile picture to a cartoon from your childhood. The goal? To not see a human face on Facebook until Monday, December 6th. Join the fight against child abuse, copy and paste to your status and invite your friends to do the same."

I have always thought of these status updates as digital chain letters. We all got anonymous chain letters when we were younger. "Copy and mail this letter to 10 of your friends, and you will have good luck." (usually these contained some miracle story of Edward or John who had done so, and won the lottery the next day or whose dream soulmate had walked into their lives. They also related the horrendous consequences of Al or Herman who did not send the letter, and died in fiery crashes or whose entire fortunes were wiped out).

Today, if you continue the chain, you are a group player, a cooperator, a good Facebooker. But if you break the digital status chain, if you don't follow the crowd ,you are either seen as unwilling to play, a grinch, or not part of the group. Why? What if you DO play? Well, I've read peoples' self-assessments, one in particular, "I'll be a sheep with everyone else," and frankly, does that not accurately describe what we are when we follow the crowd, especially when there is an unknown faction leading us? Heaven forbid you - like I - speak up against the particular trend du jour! Ire is rained down upon you!

The story behind this particular meme (meme: "The term Internet meme is a phrase used to describe a catchphrase or concept that spreads quickly from person to person via the Internet, much like an esoteric inside joke." - Wikipedia) is that it was never begun for a Cause, per se. It was merely a bit of fun that someone wanted to spread, and was never intended to raise awareness of anything. Somehow, it got hijacked for a cause, albeit one of relative irrelevance, and everyone was off to the races.

Enter The Wet Blanket: me. I couldn't understand how changing one's profile pic to a cartoon could possibly relate to stopping child abuse. I did some researching of this meme and found this article, only one of many in which is clarified that the originator intended for this to be utterly meaningless fun (and there is nothing wrong with that at all, by the way). So I posted on my friends' pages, after they got on the bandwagon, stating my opinion. One of my friends - the comedienne Marsha Warfield - actually changed her profile pic to a stop sign bearing the words, "Stop Child Abuse And Neglect" and her status update merely read: "F*** cartoons." Aha, here was someone who thought the way I did!

So, my raising people's awareness of this meaningless meme began to raise their ire as well. They became defensive, accused me of being self-righteous (or so I interpreted), and exclaimed, "But it doesn't hurt anyone, so why not?" No, it doesn't hurt anyone, but child abuse does. And changing a profile pic, stating "let's be aware of this topic" and sitting back to feel good about one's helping society to get better ...that doesn't help kids who are living in pain, fear, and increasingly eroding self-esteem.

My points are fairly simple: awareness isn't enough. Awareness and understanding are a good beginning. Action is what's needed. If someone is so incensed over child abuse, there are many ways in which they can help: volunteer at shelters which house these families. Donate money to shelters to keep them in operation. Stand up to the woman in the shopping center who has slapped her 2-year-old for crying, or who is pulling just a little too hard on her 4-year-old's arm to get him to keep up with her. We all need to take responsiblity for that which so many believe just isn't their business. But raising awareness isn't enough.

I was challenged in the dialogues that followed my "self righteousness". How can I, someone who is not only raising awareness of cyberbullying but basing my entire graduate thesis on that very thing, say it doesn't help to raise awareness of child abuse to change a profile picture? Again, I feel it's simple: what I'm doing is a thesis which is leading to my new career of educating those who are responsible for kids who might be engaged in cyberbullying situations. I am not simply raising awareness. I am doing something about it. I am going on radio and telling whomever will listen that it is about time we educated the educators to be vigilant and recognize this new heinous threat to our children. I am creating a program for teachers, and one for kids, in which they can interact with the materials and become proactive. I am hoping to continue my research into the topic so that we can have an idea of the impact awareness has on those vulnerable to attacks. That's what I'm doing in my field. Raising awareness is today's feel-good catchphrase. Too many people believe it ends there. Sadly, awareness fades if the topic is not a part of our everyday life. Awareness memes fade even faster. And the meaning of the action fades sometimes before it's even minutes old. I counted at least 6 friends who, after posting their status updates and changing their profile pictures, received responses exclaiming how, "I LOVED that cartoon when I was younger!" or "He's my favorite cartoon character!" Nothing about the Cause, nothing about the seriousness of child abuse, and nothing about how this person is now changed because of the picture.

I'm not criticizing anyone who wishes to have fun. Heaven knows, we could all use more of it in our daily lives, even if it were a fleeting picture on a Facebook page. That's why I post hockey news and comic strips alongside the bullying links I have on Facebook: we can't live serious all the time. But when something calls for serious action, I find it strange to invoke that which brings out delight and laughter. There is nothing fun or funny about child abuse, breast cancer, bullying, animal neglect...so why do we insist on making Facebook trends so diametrically opposite to the causes they are purported to promote?

In closing - I'm not a wet blanket. But if I bring to the table some serious discussion, please don't feel I am attacking your sense of fun; I am only asking you to justify why you're asking me, as a FB friend, to change my picture, and my status, and in the name of a cause or an illness. We have to remember we are thinking, able human beings, who CAN bring about change in the real world. We should not become computer hounds who are led to believe that by talking about or illustrating it on Facebook, we will cure the evils of society. Let's bring action back to our communities; use Facebook to organize a day of offline action. THEN I'll change my Facebook pic for it!!

Thematic Photography B&W

2010-11-11T19:29:00.003-05:00

Thanks, Carmi, for this new thematic photography - Black and White photography is something I love to dabble in, and I did something with a photo a few years ago which I'm posting here. We'd gone to the Botanical Gardens, and I took a picture of Sam and some Lollypop Plants. I took the photo, washed it of color, and then tried a new technique I'd learned just that week, painting color in where I thought it would be most effective. It turned out, the plants were that color, and Sam was wearing the same color, so this picture worked beautifully.

Seeing how young he is here gave me a pang, too...they grow up SO fast...this was 6 years ago, and he was just 7 years old.

Thanks for letting me share!

Thematic Photograph: "Orange"

2009-11-22T17:51:00.002-05:00

Well, this week's Thematic Photography is orange and though I didn't have anything to enter into the mix earlier, today I do.

We love clementines - when the little orange-tangerines come out in the autumn, we go through crates at a time. I've always had a quirky ability to peel them in one piece, and recently showed Sam how I do that. Now, I find myself sought out to peel his every one, and of course, he has 3 or 4 at a time!

The minute I peeled this one, I knew I had to do something with it. I looked at Sam, and said, "Ooooooh....let's pull a Carmi!" He said, "I was JUST thinking that!!" We went into the kitchen, the black surface of the stove worked as a perfect background, and the results are here. His idea was to pose the peel and the peeled together.

Enjoy!

Theo's back - revisited

2009-08-27T11:21:00.002-04:00

The first time I blogged about Theo's back trouble was when it began, in February. He was fine till May, when I noticed he was just not himself. It was a Friday night. I got an appointment Saturday morning, started him on meds, as the doctor believed it was the same problem. He was okay for a couple of days, but that Monday, was in a lot of pain; I rushed him in for the emergency appointment hours and this time, they gave him tramodol for pain as well as extending the steroids for inflammation. He recovered but I sat in dread of August. It had been 3 months between flare-ups and somehow, I thought August would bring another.

Lo and behold. Tuesday afternoon I noticed he was off...can't really describe it any other way. I walked him, which is never an indication as he is his old self most of the time when this flares up. Called the vet and got an appointment an hour later. When the doctor palpated Theo's spine, the dog tensed up just for a moment and the doctor nodded. He said "Yup, same as last time, same location but you caught it early - when did you first notice symptoms?" I said, "an hour ago, but he wasn't showing symptoms - just wasn't himself, I had a feeling." The doctor was actually quite impressed with the depth of the connection Theo and I share. I told him that my dog has a special something and he told me he could tell from the first time we'd been in. That made me smile.

He doesn't believe this is anything serious beyond what it is - an occasional flare-up, inflammation due to discal fluid leaking from one of the vertebrae. He said that because I can see it early, and because Theo responds well to meds, this is highly controllable and no need for even considering surgery. That was reassuring but in the meantime, my baby dog needs painkillers and anti-inflammatories, and is not his usual jumpy self. He is an amazing dog, though, his demeanor is so docile that he didn't even give the vet an argument when he was in pain. I'll take my cues from him, but we're babying Theo till this runs its course. Carrying him up and down stairs, not allowing him to jump onto or off the sofa, and watching him closely for any changes. Keep him in your thoughts!

Thematic Photography: "Odd"

2009-07-15T22:17:00.007-04:00

This week, my friend Carmi is entertaining photographic entries depicting "odd". I immediately flashed to a picture taken on a walk with Theo and Sam; we saw these shoes at the bus stop up the street and they were neatly placed, right there on the grass. Sam began to sweep his arms over the shoes, magician-style. When I asked what he was doing, he said, "I'm just checking. Maybe there's an invisible woman in the shoes..!"

Definitely odd...!

But the following week, while coming out of Loblaw's, I saw a tiny shoe right on the pavement behind my car. Made me smile...and doubly odd - two shoe incidents in a week!

Toxic Teachers

2009-04-08T20:55:00.003-04:00

I'd like to know what gives teachers the right to undo all that has been done in the time before their students arrive in their classes. Specifically, what right does a teacher have to damage the social fabric of a student's life? Are they not mandated to nurture not only the mind but the spirit? Granted, there are some who don't take this responsibility to heart, but the general consensus among educators is that teachers are tasked with the whole child, not just his or her academic achievements.

Take two students, boys who have been friends from nursery school. They have been friendly for years, and have a renewed, strengthened bond in their last year of elementary school. They get together outside of the school environment, are constantly in touch, play hockey together, and sit together on the bus to and from school. They are also in the same class.

Does a teacher have the right to pull aside one boy and tell him that the other is negatively influencing him and that he should stay away from that boy in school? Perhaps the combination of the two makes for a challenge, but does that give the teacher dominion over the children's social connections? Assume, for a moment, that the child admonished would follow his teacher's advice: does this not isolate and diminish the other child to a point where he might begin to feel less wanted in the social circle of his friends?

I don't know the answer; I don't know the entire situation, and I have to give the parties involved the benefit of the doubt. But I don't feel comfortable with the teacher telling one child not to be friends with the other; even if she didn't use those words, it is implied, and she risks the admonished child agreeing and complying so as not to rock the boat, and causing the other child's feelings of isolation and bewilderment. A less confident child might take it to heart, and this is where we begin to see the bullied child syndrome emerge.

Yes, teachers bully. I've taken my son's case, in Grade 4, all the way up to the school board's regional director, as well as to my local police station, when the teacher he was unfortunate enough to have that year belittled, insulted, humiliated and taunted him on a regular, ongoing basis. The only satisfaction I got from my actions was that the teacher no longer teaches at the school (whether from my complaint, or a flurry of them - I've no idea), and a slightly more attentive administration the following year.

But now we're back again, and while there is a 2-month remainder to the year, I am starting to see the signs of bullying returning, this time embodied by another teacher. Do I tell the boy to suck it up, and live through the next 2 months without incident, or do I take this to administration? Not a born complainer, not one to make waves, this situation doesn't have an easy answer in my head. But the mother tigress protecting her cubs is what I become, and I'm tempted to pursue this after the week's holidays have come and gone, and classes resume.

It does make me question everything that goes on in school, though. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it raises a mistrust that doesn't feel good, not when one is dealing with the people who see my children more hours than I do in a given day.

I'll wait and see; they're off till next Wednesday, so there's no need to stress about it. But I wish someone would just retrain teachers in sensitivity issues, rather than all the pedagogical development days they get (3-4 times the number of ped days in Quebec than Ontario teachers, and I see no visible difference in the quality of my sons' education).

Perhaps, as I set foot onto the field of Educational Technology, this could become a focal point. Sometimes the most important missions arise from the necessities of life instead of the whims or ideas.

Stay tuned...

(comments welcomed)

Norman Rockwell and me

2009-02-02T16:37:00.004-05:00

Ever feel like this? I think we all do, when we bring our animals to the vet. No matter the reason, it's daunting to be there; the animal in your arms is usually very apprehensive, the other animals around you are either yapping or barking or shaking in tandem with yours. Sometimes, the vet is a place for news we are afraid to hear, sometimes it's just a routine checkup but with the deep emotions we feel for our pets, it's hard to separate even routine from anticipatory worry.

It's harder to be there, knowing there's a problem, and all alone to boot. That's where I found myself this afternoon. Theo hadn't been himself for the last 3 days, and I finally made an appointment for him to see the vet today. Being a mid-afternoon appointment, I had no kids with me to help pass the time, or dismiss the growing worry, and I remembered this Norman Rockwell painting all too well. It was even more apropos when I had seen the vet and returned to the waiting room with my dog, to await the Xray machine's availability. Sitting there, I had to absorb the news that Theo may have a discal hernia (as well as all the things that can happen because of it, and the possible surgery he might face at some point in his life). Being the emotional soul that I am, having already shed tears in the examining room, I breathed to calm myself for my dog's sake (as well as, perhaps, my public face). And I felt, more than ever, like the child in this painting. All around me were other patients with their owners, happy and healthy, and my puppy was lying, still and quiet, in my arms while I quelled emotions for his peace of mind.

The technician came out to take Theo to the X-ray, and I sat alone, feeling more isolated than even this child depicts. It lasted about 40 minutes while Theo got the X-rays, at which point I was then shown to another examining room and asked to await the doctor. That was worse. Not knowing what she'd tell me, not even having my puppy with me to soothe, I had to press my fingernails into my palm to detract from tears. And all I could do was say a prayer to whatever Entity would listen. One doesn't hear the words "possible paralysis" without her mind reeling toward that vision at 100 miles an hour.

The doctor came in and powered up the computer screen on the wall; forgetting my worry, I focused on the cool digital x-rays I was shown. I listened so that I could remember her every word to tell both kids, and the news was encouraging. No fracture or infection she could see, and if it is a discal hernia, it is minor. She would send me home with anti-inflammatory meds for him, and by 24 hours from then, I should see an improvement. Still, without totally babying him (fat chance), I was told he should not do any jumping for another 10 days.

The problem could recur - or not. It could need surgery - or not. But whatever happens, I am in good hands with the vet; that, above all, is worth the price paid for the visit.

Theo was brought out to me, happy to see me, but subdued. He sat on the counter between me and the receptionist while I paid for the visit, the x-rays, the meds, and the stuffed animal and cookies I'd bought him (guilt goes shopping). Then I brought him home to await his boys' return from school so I could explain to their very-worried faces what I had learned.

I have given Theo his first dose of meds, and lo and behold! He ate the cookie WITH the pills without even spitting out the meds! Thank goodness, because the last thing I wanted was to force-feed my already-stressed puppy his meds!

I've always loved Norman Rockwell. And the above painting was always a favorite of mine. But today, it came back to me in feelings, not just vision, and my admiration for the man's ability to depict emotions without words just grew exponentially.

I'll update Theo's condition as I go...think good thoughts.

2009-01-20T21:36:00.003-05:00

I've known Andy Nulman since 1990 - finding out my new husband was an old school friend of his had me starry-eyed...after all, Andy's the guy who began the Just for Laughs festival, meeting and bringing in celebrities for 2 weeks of summertime joy every year. I'd attended Just for Laughs before I had heard the name "Andy Nulman"! To be 1 degree of separation from this guy made me an instant groupie.

Ran into Andy one year when we'd gotten tickets at a charity auction, to sit in the outdoor courtesy tent (what its formal name was escapes me now), and watch one of the galas from there. When we arrived, Andy was hobnobbing and greeted us warmly. This was my first impression of him: an outgoing, jovial, popular and genuinely friendly guy. He immediately had us sit at a table with him and share a drink. When he found out what we were doing there, he wasted no time. He called over one of his lackeys (he probably didn't CALL them that - at least not to their faces) and had her arrange for seats inside the theater for us. We were able to take in the gala - with Dick Cavett and Kelsey Grammar, no less! - from the 2nd row of the theater, and I was more starry-eyed than ever!

But it didn't stop there. Andy invited us to the closing party at the Delta hotel, where I actually rubbed elbows with Kelsey Grammar (okay, we were crammed in line waiting for our food at the buffet and my elbow sort of brushed his). It was one of the most seriously cool nights I'd spent in a long time.

Andy takes initiative to bring people together, not just at the big parties, but smaller ones too. A co-creator of the every-five-years gathering of his youth/childhood friends, he sends some of the most entertaining emails bringing news and details of the gathering to an ever-growing list of people. I only wish he'd let spouses join the party. *sighhhhhs*

Perhaps, as compensation for my being abandoned --- I mean, left alone with kids for a weekend every 5 years, I can finagle a copy of his new book, Pow! Right Between The Eyes! After all, he is a newly published author and I can redefine my groupiness; after all, he's joining the world of literati...

So whatcha say, Andy?

(the rest of you guys can find the book and a link here.

Seriously, Andy, I wish you well - and if I do score a copy of the book - will you autograph it for me?

Sweet Stuff

2008-11-26T20:09:00.002-05:00

Alas, my first posting for Carmi's Thematic Photography section. I knew I had some yummies stashed in my photos, I always take pics of the stuff I make that makes me proud to show. These were a dessert I made for Passover in 2004, served on dishes my mom had bought for the apartment in Florida and which came into my possession in a very lucky, meant-to-be fashion. I made this decadent dessert on a whim, and my father-in-law STILL talks about it!

I think I might just continue to get involved in the thematic photography, it is a challenge and creative challenges always get me moving!

English and the USA

2008-07-13T19:46:00.002-04:00

Okay, I figure here's as good a place to begin as any, with my new blogging phase (with a promise to keep it up!).

I just saw an interview with an advocate for making English the official language of the USA and he expressed outrage over Barack Obama's fervent plea to families to teach their children Spanish (the most prevalent language in the US). Why the outrage? For those who have accused Senator Obama of elitist statements, this has GOT to be the most elitist movement of all!

We here in Quebec realize the value of two languages. While it hasn't always been an easy pill to swallow, and still has remnants of ridiculous laws (the French signs being double the size of English signs, the still-present language police), it has been a gift to be able to speak another language, especially when traveling abroad where French is taught in most countries.

So why is the USA - which boasts a large Hispanic population - trying to shut out the other "unofficial" language spoken by so many of its citizens? The US claims it values all its citizens, and allegedly boasts pride in its diversity and certainly tries to embrace the diversity and teach tolerance among people; but I tend to judge by actions and not words. By trying to officialize the English language, the US is, in essence, telling the Latino community that their communication doesn't count unless it's done in a language that is - for most - a second language. By trying to make English "official" (and heaven knows what that bill or amendment or whatever form it takes will spawn), the US is telling the Spanish-speaking population (not to mention other communities with other languages) that they aren't as official as the English-speaking citizens.

And by doing so, they are simply negating all of their "embrace diversity" rhetoric and becoming no better than Orwellian thought police.

I wonder to what end this will go - why bother to make it an official language unless it is going to be enforced? How will language be enforced among the citizens of a country which boasts 10 times the population of Canada? Will they force newcomers to the States to go to English-speaking schools and not retain their heritage in any way but at home? Will they do away with the Latino shops where signage is Spanish and the culture is rich? Will they disallow Korean or Chinese or Japanese shop owners, restaurant owners, business owners, their native language in signs, on labels, or in service?

Will we begin to see "right to die in my native language" headlines in the USA as we've seen here in Quebec? While Canada has 2 official languages, Quebec's is French first, and we can all attest to the political debates and hard feelings this has invoked over the decades. Will we see predominantly Spanish states begin to talk of secession from the rest of the country?

They should be examining history - OUR history - for lessons in this venue and start to embrace diversity lawfully as well as culturally. They don't know what they're in for if they make this a law..!

Thoughts?

Blogging Again

2008-05-26T23:01:00.002-04:00

It's been a couple of years (almost to the day) since I've posted but the other day, I realized that I have too much to say and no forum to say it; so I've decided to resurrect my blog, originally created for my Social Computing course, and start getting serious.

Now, with Facebook, I've got a whole new audience (I hope!) and I'm finding the stimulation of written interaction very relevant.

I hope you'll stick with me - I promise to be as consistent as I can, and I'll welcome comments!

Found on Yahoo News...

2005-12-16T12:19:00.000-05:00

Keeping the blog going - it's a good place for me to keep stuff like this, and have been sharing it with friends of mine...so if any of my class peers are still reading - check this out against some of the lit we read...eye-opening!!

MARSEILLES, France -- Skirt-chasing playboy Daniel Anceneaux spent weeks talking with a sensual woman on the Internet before arranging a romantic rendezvous at a remote beach -- and discovering that his on-line sweetie of six months was his own mother!

"I walked out on that dark beach thinking I was going to hook up with the girl of my dreams," the rattled bachelor later admitted. "And there she was, wearing white shorts and a pink tank top, just like she'd said she would.

"But when I got close, she turned around -- and we both got the shock of our lives. I mean, I didn't know what to say. All I could think was, 'Oh my God! it's Mama!' "

But the worst was yet to come. Just as the mortified mother and son realized the error of their ways, a patrolman passed by and cited them for visiting a restricted beach after dark.

"Danny and I were so flustered, we blurted out the whole story to the cop," recalled matronly mom Nicole, 52. "The policeman wrote a report, a local TV station got hold of it -- and the next thing we knew, our picture and our story was all over the 6 o'clock news. "People started pointing and laughing at us on the street -- and they haven't stopped laughing since."

The girl-crazy X-ray technician said he began flirting with normally straitlaced Nicole -- who lives six miles away in a Marseilles suburb -- while scouring the Internet for young ladies to put a little pizzazz in his life.

"Mom called herself Sweet Juliette and I called myself The Prince of Pleasure, and unfortunately, neither one of us had any idea who the other was," said flabbergasted Daniel.

"The conversations even got a little racy a couple of times.

"But I really started to fall for her, because there seemed to be a sensitive side that you don't see in many girls.

"She sent me poems she had written and told me about her dreams and desires, and it was really very romantic.

"The truth is, I got to see a side of my mom I'd never seen before. I'm grateful for that."

When starry-eyed Daniel asked Sweet Juliette to send him a picture, Nicole e-mailed him a photo of a curvy, half-clad cutie she'd scanned from a men's magazine.

"The girl in the picture was so beautiful, I begged Juliette to meet me on the beach -- and Mom said yes," he recalled. "Mom says she was falling for me, too, and she just wanted to meet me, even though she knew I'd be disappointed when I saw her.

"As for me, I figured I was going to find the girl of my dreams.

"I guess that's about as wrong as I've ever been."

Daniel admits he and his mother could do little but stammer and stutter around each other for days after their cyberspace exploits came to light. And his father Paul -- Nicole's husband of 27 years -- wasn't too happy when the story hit the news and his beer-drinking buddies made him the butt of their jokes.

"Dad was ticked for a while and he forbid Mom to talk to anybody on the Internet ever again," said embarrassed Daniel.

Talk about anonymity!!!

Proving the Thrust of Social Computing

2005-12-11T02:04:00.000-05:00

In the course syllabus, and description, Johannes describes the computer as "places and spaces"...and while I totally agreed with that even before the course, what happened to me this week proves it beyond the shadow of a doubt.

The laptop I bring to school is my portable desktop. Basically I don't use any other computer - my kids use the desktop we have had for about 5 years, and we just acquired a 2nd desktop because with 2 kids (who, I might add, take after their mom and love the computer), it is necessary to have 2 computers. So I knew the laptop had to be the only place I could truly call my electronic home. When my old laptop (only 18 months old at the time) flickered and went black, I negotiated (hard!) with the store to uphold their extended warranty plan and replace it with market-value electronics. And when this computer came into my life it was only a couple of weeks on the market. I knew it was THE computer to have - kick-butt graphics card, 17" screen, huge hard drive, everything I needed. And I knew I'd make good use of it.

Wednesday night. Working on my project, and my reflection paper, and polishing up some logs and stuff for class. The laptop froze (it doesn't do that, not often - it has HT so it has been very reliable) and I pressed the "reset" button before going into the den to help my son with a problem he was having.

When I returned to the kitchen (sort of where I station myself when the kids are home and busy), the laptop was still rebooting. I watched and waited, but when it went to a blue screen and restarted again, I knew something was wrong. I closed it off completely, waited 5 minutes, and started it again. Same thing. Beginning to feel a sense of dread but not giving into it, I started it yet again. Played with trying to start it in Safe Mode, Last Good Configuration, all the offered choices. Nothing.

When I realized my computer was not going to work, I felt the panic rise. But when I say panic - sheepish to admit this - I mean panic. Tears. My son came in to see what was wrong and I told him I thought my computer had crashed. I tried again, to no avail. This time, it was full panic. And he went to get my husband, to whom the computer is the bane of his existence...*lil grin*

He told me the stuff is still on the computer, and I'll just have to get someone to fix it. I told him that wasn't a comfort - I needed everything NOW..in fact, YESTERDAY...and frankly, I don't trust just anyone with my computer. He asked why I was so upset and through tears I proclaimed (and yes, this is what I said - been reliving it): "my whole LIFE is on there!"

Yes, I had 3 semesters' worth of school stuff on the computer. Yes I had project in progress, articles saved up (though printed as well) for my reflection paper, all my settings and passwords and everything else...but there were personal things on here too. Not just pictures of my kids, recordings of their voices...but creative writing I have stored up...artwork - both artwork I have completed, artwork in progress, and digital materials for my graphics. There are emails saved on my laptop that were transferred from my other laptop which were transferred from the 5-year-old desktop. In essence, 5 years' worth of emails. 5 years' worth of memories, the trajectory of the past 5 years in which so much has happened in my life...truly important cherished sentimental material. And I could only feel the dread that it might be gone.

A friend comforted me, telling me that the data was still in the box, I just needed the proper key to access it. I was going to go to sleep and awaken to call the Geek Squad in the morning. But there was no sleeping for me that night...I was driven to at least TRY to find answers. So at midnight, I was on the desktop in the den, looking up the exact problem. I had managed to freeze the BSOD to where the error message was displayed. Unmountable_boot_stopped...and after searching for answers on bulletin boards, I found them. Seems this is not such an uncommon problem when the boot sequence cannot be followed. The solution was to repair Windows, using the recovery disk. Searched for it, and found it and came back to the den. By then, a friend of mine was on MSN and I told her what was happening.

She stayed with me while I went through the steps. I read many accounts of what to do and how to do it. I was very careful, because I did not want to - obviously - reinstall Windows. But after reading my manual, and all that I'd read even from MS's site, I was ready. And I hit the "start" button on the recovery console.

It was the longest 39 minutes of my life. And I told my friend Deb, that if I lost everything, at least I was the responsible one, rather than having trusted my "baby" to someone less committed to it than I. I told her that I wanted the computer to work, and this would be my wake-up call. Would it be a hard call or a soft one? I was actually holding my breath those last few minutes. And as it went to restart, I thought I had lost everything. I posted, "Deb...it's gone..." And she was SO sympathetic.

When the log-in screen began to show, I saw an icon in the top left-hand corner, for my wireless mouse (also a fingerprint reader) and thought, "that wouldn't be there if everything were reset...". When the log-in said, "lissa" and "loading personal settings", the same heart-stopping thought came to mind. And when my wallpaper (never been so happy to see Rene Magritte's work than just at that moment) and all my icons began to show up, I shouted aloud. Sheepish but triumphant, I reported to Deb that all was intact. I checked anyway - first thing was my email program. All folders were there and intact. I was limp with relief...

Of course, my cat thought I was totally nuts - especially when I proclaimed, "Spirit...I did this. I DID THIS!!!" and he opened one judgmental green eye and yawned at me. But it was so much more than recovering the data.

Okay not THAT much more *grins* after all, it was all the data that I had feared was lost. But it was such a strong sense of pride in my achievements and my own determination, as well. I felt a stronger positive self-efficacy, and suddenly it was "I CAN do whatever I set my mind to doing!"

But what lingers is how deeply felt was the positive despair at the prospect of losing all that I have on the hard drive. When I said, in panic, "my whole life is on there"...I don't think I realized just how true those feelings are. Is it normal, or somehow obsessive to have so much, and attach so much meaning to mere electronic data? In discussing the feelings with a friend the next day, I knew that no, it wasn't something out of the ordinary, though logically, deep down, those memories are not lost to me even if their electronic representatives were to be. It was a bit of the packrat in me, perhaps...but I am extremely relieved to have the stuff back - and am backing up even at this writing.

That, perhaps, is the greatest lesson of all: back up the hard drive on a regular basis!!!

The fact that I was held together, emotionally, by a woman who has become my FRIEND...someone I have not yet met (but will) and who truly "speaks my language"...someone who was online the same time I was, and who was instrumental in keeping me semi-sane...goes, again, to show how the internet and its many facets have played an integral part in my social life...

Of course, the prospect of going without my laptop for another 60 days (the time in which the store "tries" to find a fix for an irreparable machine) was not a tasty one. I went through 2 months with the old laptop not functioning as it should (the display was gone, though the computer was able to be hooked into an external monitor so I could use it through my first semester in the program)...it was inconvenient, at the very least, and frustrating at the very most. I've become very used to the mobility of my wireless internet-able laptop. And I have plans this holiday to be away for 3 nights with my family, but with wireless at the hotel, and nothing to do but veg out and enjoy doing nothing, my laptop is an integral part of those plans (as it has been for the past 2 holidays with the same provisions).

More than ever, I am aware of how great a part in my life the laptop, its mobility and its connectivity...I'm not ready to give up the luxury. And it took an all-nighter to panic, then research, and fix a problem that would have had me without the computer. Am I addicted? Some might say yes. But does this not prove just how much we DO rely on our electronic social space. And from all the literature I've read through this semester, I am not alone...

And they said the Internet would never last....!

On Senior Bloggers

2005-11-10T12:18:00.000-05:00

Very interesting headline - obviously blogging has created not only a wave but a stereotype. Take this story, for example: http://www.cnn.com/2005/TECH/internet/11/10/geezers.who.blog.ap/index.html and check out the first line. Bloggers are typically "alienated adolescents and middle-aged pundits" - huh??

Obviously the stereotypes in our world still hit the extremes but with the blogging wave so strong and so popular, that description really surprised me. Blogs have been publicized so often and in such positive lights (the Iraq war bringing blogs to the forefront due to soldiers communicating this way; the hurricanes, mainly Katrina, bringing blogs to the forefront as "first-hand reporters" blogged their experiences - to name 2), the stereotypes have long since been banished.

But the story is interesting nonetheless. And I think it's written to not only show that blogging by seniors is breaking stereotypes but also that computer usage itself (especially the internet) is doing the same.

Online Relationships - when they work

2005-11-08T17:26:00.000-05:00

By now, I'm sure everyone is aware that I not only sanction the validity of online relationships, I have a few of my own. Close friends whom I would invite into my house if they lived in the same city. People with whom I have talked with on the phone, online, in voice chats and in emails. People with whom I have made plans to meet (one was foiled but I have met others) and people whom I definitely believe I WILL meet - someday.

I wanted to tell of a relationship I had the pleasure of watching grow, and culminate in the ultimate of relationships. It began, for me, when I joined a large list group of rubber stamp artists. Linda was a "main character" on the list, someone who posted often and who was well-known and well reputed. Her posts were funny and poignant, informative and friendly and she welcomed me to the list when I posted a "newbie here" intro. Linda's nickname was "Giggles" - and I soon found out why: it personifies her bubbly self.

I soon found out the Linda had been undergoing treatments for leukemia and was posting from inside a plastic isolation bubble - unable to have visitors as the chemo had wiped out her immunities, she found solace in the company of others - online. Not only that, she is a very talented artist and I soon found out, firsthand, how talented she was when I participated in a swap of cards in which she also participated, and was lucky enough to receive a "Giggles original".

I found out that there had been a card-a-day campaign - unbeknownst to Linda, one of her friends had organized a round-robin where those who signed up sent her a card on their promised date, and that would ensure that she would receive mail every day of her isolation. The spirit on this list was awesome and inspirational and I did sign up and sent her a card of my own.

Then came Don - aka Peter Pan. Don had his own story - divorced, having lost a 13-year-old child to a tragedy (I never found out what, and never asked), he was NOT a rubber stamp artist. He and Linda "met" while she played trivia online, and he was usually in the virtual room in which she played. Don and Linda began to chat, began to talk on the phone, and became closer. It was a safe observation that they were becoming a couple.

Don moved from California to New Hampshire when he found a new job and a new life. On his way across the country, he stopped in Ohio - and stayed for a few days with Linda. Their relationship was cemented on that visit. But he had to go on, and she had to stay. Until she was diagnosed with a secondary tumor, a liver tumor, caused by all the chemicals in her body, and told that there were experimental treatments in Boston. She moved in with Don - who lives 45 minutes from Boston - and that was just the beginning.

I had the honor of attending their wedding in 1998, which took place at a rubber stamp artists' convention just outside of Boston (an annual convention at which I had met a myriad stampers from the online list). I not only attended, I was a bridesmaid and acted as their publicist. They knew this story was going to hit the news - the wedding took place DURING the convention, on the floor, and stopped the house in its tracks.It was truly an emotional happening for those of us who knew Linda and what she had been through, but the feelings were palpable in the convention center itself. As their publicist, I sold an article about the wedding to an international rubberstamping magazine, and it was one of their top-selling issues. The wedding had become a happening throughout the artistic community and across the 'net. When I talked with Linda and Don about this article, I asked what they wanted my perspective to show. Linda was very specific.

She said, "I don't want this to be a cancer survival story. I want it to reflect how I found friends and family on the Internet and how I met my husband online."

There were upwards of 40-45 people who came to Boston specifically for this wedding. We were from Canada (2 of us - myself, and someone from B.C.), all over the USA, and one person came in from New Zealand to witness this event. Linda wanted that reflected in the article, and I believe I did just that. The comments that I got on the article after it came out (via emails and the list) were all along the same lines: those who were there relived it; those who were unable to attend felt that they'd been there. And though the article was definitely a contributor to that, it was based on everyone who had watched this friendship become courtship, love, and marriage, via the exchanges online between Don, Linda and the rest of us.

This is only one incidence in which the 'net has brought two people together. It is by no means the sole example. In my own experience, I have been witness to many successful online relationships as well as those which have NOT worked. I have more to tell...but that will be in another entry (saving something for your suspense factor *g*).

Community - The Definition

2005-11-05T11:27:00.000-05:00

In (at least) one of our classes, and then individual group discussions, the notion of community came about. It was a stated concern that we are redefining the word along electronic lines, and somehow devaluing the face-to-face community sense that has been so longstanding.

This week's reading - the Markus article - defines community thusly:

A community is a group of individuals with some common interest and stronger communication flows within than across its boundaries

I'm heartened by this definition because though I see the concern of expanding the word "community" into electronic terms, I have felt the sense of community as a part of online groups. Traditional groups and communities are seen as such but so was "communication" seen as a traditional sense before the computer and even telephone lines overtook the old fashion pen-and-paper communications.

I think that as the world and technology continue to evolve, so will our definitions have to be broadened to accommodate the new abilities and standards we set for ourselves, whether or not we choose to partake of them.

Showcase - Part IV

2005-11-02T21:01:00.000-05:00

Fictional Narrative To Illustrate Usefulness

The tools described here (and even those left out – the myriad tools available for the cognitively disabled as well as computer users with challenges in motor skills) would be very helpful in a school setting, whether that school were to be an elementary, secondary, or post-secondary setting. The practicality of this is not as feasible, however, due to the high cost of tools such as the Braille Readers and the implementation of screen readers into labs which might contain technology older than today’s standards (and we all know that school computer labs do not always hold the most cutting-edge technology). Instead, I have chosen to showcase the accessibility tools in a distance education setting.

Distance education is catching on as a palatable, viable and popular choice for those pursuing higher education. While not as widely available in primary or secondary education, there were numbers available for schools in the U.S. offering distance education for such students. The numbers were low (in 2002-03 approximately one-third of public school districts in a given region, where the number rose in rural areas) but no such numbers could be found for more recent years or Canadian statistics. However, distance education is prevalent for post-secondary studies, on into adult education, with major universities offering asynchronous instruction for full-fledged programs, selected course studies, or even some websites of major corporations offering modular courses “for fun and instruction” (as in the case with Hewlett-Packard’s Online Learning Center found at http://h30187.www3.hp.com/ or even Barnes and Noble’s Online University which offers everything from book clubs to courses on computers, liberal arts, and life improvement – some paid, some free for the asking).

With the increasing popularity of distance education, the disabled computer user can now learn from the comfort of one’s home with the tools s/he needs in order to take full advantage of the offerings which are available. There are multiple advantages to computer-mediated communication and distance education for the disabled user. In an article by Margaret Debenham (2002*) she quotes H. Rheingold’s 1993 study where he cites two major reasons for CMC to benefit the disabled:

o Remove the initial challenge of having to explain a handicap to able-bodied people, thus enabling disabled people to be treated as thinkers and sharers of feeling in the same way as able-bodied people are

o Enable those with disabilities to join in a conversation with no greater delay in communication than other computer users. (Rheingold 1993)

She goes onto quote Coombs’s finding that in a CMC setting, disabled users were more likely to share personal information than if they were face-to-face with able-bodied users. It can be concluded that CMC removes the emotional barriers of perceived stigma in a disabled user’s world when s/he can communicate via the computer.

Distance education also means that a disabled user would have no transportation worries to compound the educational experience. Learning from the comforts, and safety, of home would remove the need and expense to travel to a campus or community center.

As well, those disabled users who are equipped with the tools to assist computer usage could now engage in self-improvement as well as academic courses, even peer-tutoring with other disabled users. It is certain that a new computer user who is visually impaired would need guidance as to what works and what does not, what tips and tricks are “out there” in order to facilitate usage of a computer when faced with those challenges. With these tools, their ability to be integrated with all programs from utilitarian to chat-based software, the more experienced user can now become mentor to the less skilled, perhaps intimidated, user who needs that extra hand to show him/her that yes, it CAN be done – despite the challenges, and due to the assistive tools. With these hardware and software packages, web designers’ awareness of accessibility standards, and distance education opportunities, self-esteem, self-confidence, skills and renewed enthusiasm will all become benefits to the challenged user, courtesy of enhanced and technological advances. As stated at the beginning of this showcase, the computer is no longer a luxury merely for those who can afford to use it for functional purposes; the computer is a window and doorway to the world at large, with the advent of the Internet and the social elements which have become so much a part of today's computing. Education has taken a turn in that direction, embracing and addressing the social aspect of the student as well as the academic, the technology as well as the textbook. Combining all these factors - sociality, academia, technology and the will to overcome challenges - this medium can soon become the smooth path for all users to engage in all types of computer-mediated communication and learning.

*Debenham, M. 2002. Computer Mediated Communication (CMC) and Disability Support: Addressing Barriers to Study. York: TechDis
www.techdis.ac.uk/index.php?p=3_20040610031024_20040412041243 (HTML version) or
www.techdis.ac.uk/resources/files/CMC01.pdf (PDF version).

Showcase Part III

2005-11-02T20:42:00.000-05:00

(I'm not crazy about the backwards order of these posts...but it'll have to do - such is the nature of the Blog)

Braille Displays

A Braille display is a device which does exactly as its name says: displays input and output in Braille. Connected to a keyboard, there are pins which will rise up and down, displaying text line by line (also known as “refreshable Braille display). Found at http://www.freedomscientific.com/fs_products/displays.asp, these do not come cheap: depending on the model, the price runs anywhere from $2000.00 to $7000.00 USD.

The visually impaired not only include those with limited or no vision, but also those who have color blindness. This particular condition cannot be alleviated for computer users on the user’s end, but rather on the site developer’s side of the equation. In fact, for the Internet to be made accessible to all users – disabled or not – there are standards and conditions which are prescribed and recommended in order to include all groups of users in the equation. This will be discussed in another section.

For color blindness in particular, there is a website which will simulate the appearance of any website according to a specified colorblindness (Deuteranope – a form of red/green color deficit, Protanope – another form of red/green color deficit, and Tritanope – a very rare blue/yellow deficit). The page is found at http://www.vischeck.com/vischeck/ and if you go to “run images” or “run webpages” at the left, the simulation is easily done. The results are quite enlightening and very relevant, as will be illustrated later in this showcase.

There are pages which can test a site for accessibility, to be outlined further in this showcase.

The Hearing Impaired

While computers are fairly “more” accessible to the hearing impaired than to the visually impaired (i.e. the hearing impaired have no trouble using a mouse or navigating a screen) there are audio cues and enhancements which help the user identify errors, task completion or need for input (AbilityNet p. 1*) Built directly into Windows XP, Sound Sentry is an assistive tool which gives visual cues to the hearing impaired. Also in the Accessibility package of Windows XP is Show Sound which, when enabled, has the programs display captions for the speech and sounds which are output by the programs on the screen.

Web Accessibility

The Internet has much to offer in its guidelines on accessibility. If a page passes the accessibility test, it can be much more user-friendly to those with visual impairments and in some cases, makes the difference between a viable page and one that is useless. As mentioned before, given the high visual nature of computer use in general, this impairment is the one which faces the most challenges and thus is the one to which more assistive tools are addressed in this showcase. The W3C (Web Content Accessibility Guide) has a checklist which can be found at http://www.w3.org/TR/WCAG10/full-checklist.html - it is recommended that all websites be checked against this list for accessibility of content.

There are other tools which will evaluate web pages for accessibility. One such tool is called WAVE and is a product offered by the WebAIM site (Web Accessibility In Mind). WebAIM (http://www.webaim.org/) is a site which provides articles and utilitarian sites and tools specifically for the accessibility of sites. WAVE’s output is a graphical interface of a submitted URL (if you enter any URL on their page at http://dev.wave.webaim.org/index.jsp) as it assesses the content and design for accessibility. Not only is it interesting to check pages against the criteria provided, it is vital to the future of web design if designers are to keep in mind the increasing number of disabled users flocking to the Internet, now made more accessible through the use of tools such as the ones described here. According to AbilityNet, " An accessible website is a staggering 35% easier to use for every visitor!".**

*AbilityNet Factsheet, March 2005, retrieved on October 27, 2005 from http://www.abilitynet.org.uk/content/factsheets/pdfs/Hearing%20Impairment%20and%20Computing.pdf

**AbilityNet Homepage, retrieved on October 27, 2005 from http://www.abilitynet.org.uk and based on a report from the DRC (Disability Rights Commission) Formal Investigation Report: web accessibility, April 14, 2004; found at http://www.drc-gb.org/publicationsandreports/report.asp and retrieved on October 28, 2005.

Showcase: Part II

2005-11-02T20:22:00.000-05:00

Visually Impaired

For the visually impaired there are tools which bring the computer to life. Screen readers do exactly that – they are voice synthesizers which read the page displayed. There are a variety of programs which are quite comprehensible, and some which are completely impossible to understand. Screen readers will read what is displayed and what is typed. Several examples include:

LookOut – found at http://www.screenreader.co.uk/products/lookout.htm; you can try the sample voices on this site, and these are the some of the best ones that have come to attention thus far. They are still not natural-sounding voices, but are good tools to be used to aid computing for the visually impaired. The company puts out a different software package which translates the screen output to a Braille display (to be covered later in this showcase).

JAWS – found at http://www.freedomscientific.com/fs_products/software_jaws.asp; the “virtual showroom” with a short flash movie on some of the features offered by this program shows that this is a more extensive program, offering integration of its voice synthesizer with every type of application available, including chatware. JAWS offers a very clear synthesizer capability as well, with voices provided by NeoSpeech, found at http://www.neospeech.com/. This company offers many different TTS (Text-to-Speech) functions and a demo can be found on their website. JAWS provides for output to refreshable Braille displays in its package.

Window-Eyes will provide you with a challenge if you go to their demo and try to understand what is being said. Their product is found at http://www.gwmicro.com/products/ and was not the most effective TTS program found. You will understand why when you visit and try to listen to the sound clips (hint: do so with closed eyes).

Home Page Reader, an IBM product, is another similar software package. Found at http://www-3.ibm.com/able/solution_offerings/hpr.html, there is a 7.5-minute clip from a PBS show which featured this software in a segment. Home Page Reader is more of a browser than a software package but its developer promises future improvements, such as Adobe Reader capabilities, and even using it for Flash media.

(cont'd next post)

Showcase: Accessibility for the disabled computer user

2005-11-02T20:19:00.000-05:00

This showcase will be presented in several posts, so as to break up the length of it. While it is rather extensive, I have barely scratched the surface of all that is available to research in this field. I am piqued, and will revisit the topic often. Without further ado...

Accessibility tools for disabled computer users

The computer is no longer a single-dimensioned tool to be utilized for functional purposes alone. It has become, as we are exploring in depth, a place for socialization and socializing to happen. The computer offers many different facets to the individual, from the functionality of word processing, spreadsheets, calculator features, and agenda/calendar/datebook aspects, to the social aspects of chatware and voice chat. The Internet has afforded computer users tremendous ability to reach out across time and space, make new friends, keep in touch with old friends or faraway family members, and enjoy the excitement of mingling with others even as they remain in the comfort of their own homes.

But for a long time, the disabled computer user was prevented these affordances due to the various limitations placed upon him/her. Visually challenged, the hearing impaired/deaf, quadriplegic, even color-blind users were left out of the new revolution, unable to fully take advantage of the web at its best. Now, though, there are a myriad tools and sites to bring the World Wide Web home to everyone. For the purpose of this showcase, the challenges facing the visually impaired – given the nature of computing in general – will be the bulk of the research, while accessibility on the web will also be covered, and a brief note on hearing impairment and computer users who face those challenges. It would be impossible to cover all challenges facing the disabled in this one showcase but has sparked the desire to go on and do the research for future projects or merely for the sake of the knowledge. Technology is a burgeoning field, and accessibility tools are being developed just as quickly as the technology moves. There is a lot out there, but much left to go.

Accessibility refers to the ability for many types of users to be able to access the web (or computer software/tools) including those with disabilities. Not only are there tools in order to help the disabled, but there are rules governing pages on the internet, where those pages are specifically government and educational sites; these sites must follow the guidelines of the W3C, to be covered in this showcase.

Spammed!

2005-10-24T16:14:00.000-04:00

Okay, the unthinkable has happened - my blog has been spammed! For the past 2 days I've received email stating that someone has posted a comment on my blog. Eager to check out what's been said, I ran to log in, only to find spam mail! I mean, really! I realize a blog is public space but getting spammed with ads? I'm not sure how that happened but am curious to know if anyone else on Blogger is getting these - I deleted the first but have left the last 3 (two about working at home and one about the windows service pack 2 - which is not that at all)...I'm really not sure what to do about it. So if anyone's gotten spammed on their blogs, please let me know if you've done anything about it.

Thanks!

(and I do draw the line at spam being seen as anything social in computing...*g*)

The Truth is Revealed...

2005-10-09T13:33:00.000-04:00

Is this a riot or what??!!

Extending Class Discussion...Online conversation

2005-10-09T13:31:00.000-04:00

Drafted Sept 27/05 10:00 p.m. - finally posted....today!

Well, I knew it would be a dynamic class, just from the topic alone - which is one with which I identify with, rather strongly. I have had an "online life" (I so hate the distinction) for years. And it began when my now-12-year-old was 3. It began by way of the art that I began to take up - the art of rubber stamping. Really fun, showed me that I DO have a graphics side (which has since grown ONLY due to my being so active online!) and my self-confidence in this area began to increase. I found a group of stampers across the globe, a group which helped me to discover new techniques and ideas, and I then joined swaps - where we were given themes, we had to create 5 identical items (cards, magnets, bookmarks etc) according to that theme, send our items off to the host or hostess of the swap who then sent back 5 different items to every participant. I even hosted several swaps - one of which was actually where I was the hostess receiving cards acknowledging Scottie Hamilton's newly discovered cancer, and wishing him well - we got over 75 cards which I sent off to Scottie (to an email addy I found online for his fans).

When my second son was born, my husband was in a job which took him out of the house pretty much 7 days a week, sometimes 18 hours a day. Our older son was facing challenges (we didn't know what he was facing, and so-called experts wanted to [mis]diagnose him as autistic), I had a nursing infant, and was alone with all of this. It was overwhelming. My art was my therapy, but so were my friends across the world. Opening up the computer was a saving grace to me. Suddenly I was out in the world, socializing in the baby's naptime while my 3.5-year-old was playing, and I found myself opening up to these people. I had met some of them at artists' conventions the year before and 2 years before, but they were my online support group and my "escape"...and many of them are people I still chat with, on and off, to this day.

From there, I branched out - finding different groups and learning digital graphics as well. Began to learn HTML on my own, and attended online classes with a rubber stamp artist whose job is web design. Again, the "online world" was teaching me more than I could have imagined.

Won't go into the evolution of my escapades online (sounds so mysterious doesn't it *g*) but I can honestly say that the few people with whom I am close online (and when I say "close" I mean that if they showed up at my doorstep it would be as easy to invite them in as it would be had we met for coffee or lunch the day before) are people I trust with *me*. In fact, there are a very few people "online" who know me better than even my own family. I have questioned, often, why that is, why that happens. I have studied those online relationships I have witnessed (which I'll get into when we discuss that aspect of it, in class) and have tried to understand the phenomenon. I know it has a LOT more to do with it than convenience, anonymity, "safety"...it's more than that. But I have my theories and will keep them for Online Friendships/Relationships.

Have I experienced "fallings-out" online? You bet! Have I had them often? That depends...it usually happened with the same people - many of whom I have let go their own ways. I found there were a lot of shallow people I "met" online and those were the people I never trusted with my real "self"...not my innermost thoughts, feelings, ideas. There is still an acquaintance I have, someone who is difficult to talk to at times - does NOT like to hear things about herself and has bristled when I have broached the truth with her. I redefined the boundaries of our friendship and now, it is an acquaintance but I don't have the same friendship I have with others I have "met". With those...I can truly say there are special connections, sometimes to the point of being psychic. One who can tell, just from the way I open conversation, what my mood is (usually with, "Okay, what's wrong?" when I type my first greeting...). These people - and I can count them on one hand - are the people with whom I have phone conversations, online conversations, emails, and send snail mail. The limitations that prevent face-to-face meeting vary, but if it were possible, it would happen - and I am not so certain it never will...

So ...miscommunications. It was mentioned, in class, tone of voice, eye contact, gestures, facial expressions, and the like are all elements of conversation which cannot be replicated in online conversation. I agree. I'll never forget the 3 elements my teacher looked for, in a high school communication-arts class: eye contact, saying the other person's name from time to time, and touching a forearm here and there. So yes, they are important.

BUT...I have found that with skills and sensitivities, those things can be CONVEYED...maybe it's my writer's side, but I have learned how to "paint the word pictures"...and I have always tried to soften a potentially ambiguous remark with smiles, or emoticons (depending on the venue) or gentle humor. Example...I might say something and then put, in brackets, "she says with a wry smile" - it softens any misinterpretation.

Of course, there are those who will ALWAYS look for the negative...but I cannot be occupied with fragile egos and huffy attitudes. I've encountered WAY more of those than I'd care to document - in my online AND my offline! Those people who will complain about something and then eschew my advice (asked-for advice) on the topic are those who have gone away from my circle because I have either blocked them (more about that in a minute) or changed my chat name/address. I am not harsh - I err on the side of being TOO nice...but I also have my fill of those people who try to take advantage of my good nature.

Social norms...mores...etiquette...blocking people, ignoring them, "going invisible" to them...this takes the technology and brings conversation and relationships to different levels. Am I guilty of it, of course I am! But - to quote a well-known character - not that there's anything WRONG with it...sometimes it is merely in self-preservation that I must block out the "noise".

Is it rude? Probably. But I won't block people indiscriminately nor will I do it at some times and not at others. When I block people, it is usually permanently (if I cannot change everything over from my chatware) or temporarily till I finish what I'm doing or can deal with them again.

More mishaps that I have encountered - though am not guilty of propagating...there is one person I chat with online - she has, often, c&p'd huge chunks of conversation she has with others - mostly the man in her life (an online relationship that has gone the next step but only on occasion - long, sordid story I won't go into here) - and asked my opinion. I have no desire to see intimate conversation between two individuals...and they wouldn't invite me to their tête-à-tête conversations, nor into their bedroom so why would it be okay for me to "see" what is being said? This is something I struggle with; it is something that seems to happen often in the online world but something I struggle with because I no more wish to become that c&p than I wish to be recipient of it...

This is where the dangers come into online communication. Where people just reproduce entire portions of their lives - private or not - for the sake of being ABLE to do so! And breaks all kinds of social etiquette - online AND offline!!

This same person asked me to become a part of her graphics site - a site that mainly designs avatars for chatrooms. They call themselves "freelancers" and there is nothing involved in terms of remuneration, only artistic gratification. I was asked to join (though I've absolutely NO free time to do this work for them) and she made sure to tell me that the recommendation to join their group came from 2 others in the group. I asked her who, and she told me - these are people I do NOT know (the proverbial weak ties, I suppose, in her social network). I asked why they'd ask me to join and she said they like the way I stretch my artistic abilities. Again I asked, specifically, how they would KNOW such a thing. She said - almost flippantly - "Oh, because they've seen some of the work you've done." You guessed it - she's SENT my work to them...she says "oh, I was discriminating, I didn't send ALL of it," but it still affected me to the point of knowing I would refuse even for that reason alone.

Given the question from class (how has it changed my behavior when a communication mishap occurs), I can rightfully say that my behavior has already changed because of her revelation - no longer will I share graphics I wouldn't put on my own website. I don't do anything that I am not proud to share but there are things I have done that I don't feel belong in the general public. Will it change her behavior? No. Has her behavior changed since the day I asked her to refrain from telling me the nitty-gritty details of her conversations? No. She still tells me things but she paraphrases instead of sending me transcripts. Same thing - different cloak...

My behavior toward people like that changes in terms of my conversation style. Usually I will not run to open chat windows with this type - and if they begin conversation with me, I am armed with wariness that comes from the experience of history. Is it great to converse that way - of course not. But she is, despite incredibly frustrating, rather harmless. She sent my graphics to others? Okay...not tragic. But a red flag. She gives me her personal version of Desperate Housewives? Not horrendous - I can usually find something to do to either get offline, or change the topic subtly or point blank say, "This really isn't appropriate to be sharing with me," but it doesn't have me running for the hills. Why do I keep her as a contact? Because except for the not-so-fatal flaws, she is someone I talk to about graphics (though lately, she tells me I've been teaching her more than she ever taught me) and she's someone to chat with on most other topics too. Close friend? No. But no reason to throw the baby out with the bathwater.

Now, the one who gossiped to me about a mutual friend, then turned around and did the same with that person about me? GONZO!! *g*

(Stalled long enough on editing this draft! But I think the topic requires close examination and will probably revisit it in future postings)

Theory into Practice...

2005-10-03T00:42:00.000-04:00

(George is on the bank, Gracie in the water - in the background is a guinea fowl - one of the most delightful birds to watch)

Well, I experienced what has to be the epitome of this course's title...

Back to the Pond, and my little love-geese, the Egyptian geese who sit at the water's edge every night. George and Gracie - so named by moi-même (*g*) and the names stuck to the point of being used by National Geographic personnel!

Friday night, I read a post the the geese had been stalked by a hyena - and after some "horrible goose noises", neither had been seen. Yes, I need a life, yes, I'm way too attached to a couple of birds halfway around the world who are destined to become hyena food or a lioness snack someday anyway. But I got worried. (yes I am grinning sheepishly but hey, I wasn't alone!) I posted to the list that I would really like to see the geese, it would put my mind at ease. Several people said they'd THOUGHT they had caught a glimpse of the birds but then they weren't so sure. I was concerned...

Went into the yahoo chat room - this is a room that is created whenever a yahoo group is established. Every yahoo group has file upload capabilities, messages and posts and chat features directly on its home page. A few of us were trying the chat room this week. That evening, I went in, and no one had seen George and Gracie. I knew this was insanely overdoing it but I just could not help it..!

There is a "pondie" on our list named Armel - a very pleasant, friendly man in Arkansas (originally from Orleans, France). He had mentioned a couple of times that he was chatting with "the famous Dr. Z" - Dr. Zox is a gentleman in Maryland - not sure how he is affiliated but he is (self-named) the remote camera guru. Once when the camera was down, he was on the phone to Real Networks in Seattle, and online with Mara, the camera operator in Botswana. Armel had some insider info for us, and had told us right from Dr. Z's lips, what was happening with the camera.

The dawn broke in Africa (11:30 p.m. our time), the night after the birds went missing, and I posted to the list that this was not a good thing but I was rather concerned. Others joined me in the same emotion, and a person posted that she HAD seen them before sunrise. I thanked her but mentioned I'd be happy to see them for myself. Armel wrote to the list, "Lissa, would you be happy with a close-up?" and thinking he had a screenshot, I said "That would be awesome!"

In the chatroom, we can continue to watch RealPlayer (I'm even doing so now as I write this - the player can stay "on top" even while other tasks are being performed). Bunch of us were chatting, and suddenly there was a zoomed-in shot of two VERY noisy Egyptian geese - George and Gracie! Someone in the room said, "Lissa, there's your closeup!" I was thrilled (as you might imagine) and rather relived. (and before anyone goes and makes the "crazy woman" sign in front of my blog, I was NOT the only one *g*)

After a few minutes of taking continuous screenshots, I went back to the chatroom. As we were talking, Armel entered. He said, "Lissa, did you get your close-up?" I smiled and said yes, and then it dawned on me. I said, "Wait, Armel...did you do that??" He said yes.

He had - either on IM or in email - asked Dr. Z (in Maryland) to ask Mara (in Botswana) to zoom in on those geese...because this list member in Montreal was worried about their well-being!!! So for at least 15 minutes, George and Gracie were front and center for anyone (everyone) around the globe who was watching...just to reassure me...! Now...if that isn't Social Computing - what is???

In fact - 12:42 a.m. right now and a list member named Rhonda just posted to the list:

For Lissa - George and Gracie are fine. George is mouthing off, as usual.

R

I feel extremely lucky to be a part of such a caring group. I have always loved animals, always cared about their welfare...and to connect with people who obviously share that to the degree that I do, and to do it in such a magical place (the Wildcam) is what it's all about.

Our latest cause célèbre is Weeble - this is a young elephant who does not seem to be well. For 2 days, he has been at the Pond non-stop. He is a solitary elephant who plays with, rather than drinks, the water, and who submerges himself for long periods of time. He seems to be weak, too skinny, and at times just stands at the embankment, not able - it seems - to raise his leg to exit the Pond, and rests his trunk upon the water's edge. It was disconcerting from the start but is now even more disturbing, as we wondered - over this past evening - every time his trunk submerged, if it would resurface for another breath. He was at the Pond all night - mostly in the water. At one point, another elephant joined him - almost standing guard as he performed this ritual. It was shivers-inducing.

On the Blog at the Nat'l Geo site, many many other "viewers" are worried about Weeble. They are pleading with Pete - the gentleman who carved out this little oasis - to intervene on the elephant's behalf. Not sure how this will play out - but it is definitely (in the words of one of the list members) "the ultimate reality show".

And it has brought together people from all across the globe, on the site's Blog, on the email list, and in a chatroom where we talk about everything from kids to families to our careers or academic pursuits.

There will be another entry shortly after this one - I brought up the topic of our course, and a few of us engaged in discourse about those who "get it" and those who don't. It was then that I wrote the list, asking if there is anyone who minds my quoting or paraphrasing some of the wonderful statements, thoughts, philosophies which emerge from the posts, those which are relevant to social computing. Thus far, no one seems to object.

The Pond has brought together many people in all walks of life. Today, we acknowledged - with graphics, posts, and emails - the birthday of our list founder. Suddenly, we are not strangers sharing screenshots (grrrrrrrrreat alliteration!) - but we are friends finding friendship (MORE alliteration!) - and all because we have the common interest of a technological window on the world...

This world might be complicated - but it's the slices of fresh air and sunshine that make it a little more palatable and a lot more interesting!

(Off to watch Weeble - he's submerged again...*sighs*)

In the interim...

2005-10-01T14:06:00.000-04:00

With a holiday dinner to prepare (9 people in total and many hours of cooking and cleaning - single-handedly [who, me, complain?]), blogging is not - okay - SHOULD not be a priority. But it is for so many reasons - last night, on the Pond site, so many things arose that spoke of Social Computing, demonstrated it, and melded two worlds into one. I will do so when the soup is on, but for right now, just have to post this - cracked me up, and not for the right reasons (what are the right reasons? Oh, basically looking at it and saying, "Ha Ha, those silly computer junkies!") - instead, I sheepishly identify...

Enjoy - have a great lovely Saturday (gorgeous weather I cannot take advantage of *sobs*) and watch this space - I hope y'all will see how the computer becomes more than just a thing to open up and type upon, when my new blog entry goes up later...

And I STILL have a draft of a post-class post, to be put up after editing. I am not all-type/no-action, really I'm not! (it's the soup! The cooking! the cleaning! *g*)

So here's a new addition to a social network...

2005-09-28T00:02:00.000-04:00

Began online...will probably go offline as well...

Received email from someone on the new group - the "Pondies" as we call ourselves, we "Pete's Pond" fans...she emailed me off list to tell me that she saw I am a Montrealer, and so is she. We mused about that in a couple of back-and-forth emails and that was that.

Well, tonight, a bunch of us were in the Yahoo chat room for this group - waiting for the dawn and the color to return to the picture. This chatter walked in and I recognized her name - so we started to chat, along with the others. She said, "Funny, we're in the same city and yet here we are, watching a sunrise half a planet away." I said, "Yes, isn't life cool?" Then I said, "I'm a West-Islander, Cleo," She said, "No way! So am I!" She then said, "DDO." I flipped and said, "Okay, are you next door?"

Turns out we are within walking distance of each other - her kids are younger than mine but she homeschools them. We are fast getting to know one another. When another list member entered the room and we all introduced ourselves (chat names are different than our name in emails), both Cleo and I rushed to tell Gayle that we are neighbors. And Cleo said, "And we meet in Botswana." It was so well phrased...and made me realize just how small - and large - this world is...both on, and offline...

Pretty cool...

Okay, that's my musing for tonight - off to watch more animals at the Pond, and then to bed. I have a draft saved to publish tomorrow - more thoughts about tonight's class, and will tweak and publish tomorrow. G'nite all!

Time and Tools - Response to Francine

2005-09-25T23:03:00.000-04:00

Francine - began this as a comment in your blog's "Time and Attention Management" section but it turned into a tome so I've decided to blog it here...('cause then I can play with the HTML)

Francine,

Read this entry. Interestingly enough, as a writer, I am a proponent of various ritualistic tools - MUST be pencil and MUST be smooth (I use the Mirado pencils - they are awesome). I bought paper in the States years ago - tons of it - looseleaf with wide spaces (not the margin, the spaces themselves) - my handwriting is not the best, and especially when I'm in creativity mode, I fly across the page. So wide-spaced paper is another tool I've relied upon, as well as a good (preferably old-fashioned wood-and-metal) clipboard.

With the advent of computers in my lifestyle (and I DO mean life*style*) that changed. I found it much easier to sit down at the computer and let my fingers fly across the keyboard to create - with greater speed ('cause I'm a really quick typist) and accuracy and legibility (important!!) - the myriad ideas plummeting through my mind. I found myself creating short stories that were not only easily written (both in a physical and creative manner) but easily tweaked (I'm an admitted tweakaholic - have already tweaked this comment *mumble mumble* times) as well. It opened up the world to me. But was still not as portable as the writing.

Then, 2 years ago, as a gift to myself using part of an inheritance my mom left me, I bought my first laptop. WOW...good morning world! I had just become proficient at digital graphics as well, and I had been doing HTML and web design for a couple of years but this? This became my home-away-from-home. The laptop became my studio, my desk, my clipboard, my journal, my coffee shop, my arcade, my jigsaw puzzle table, my newspaper, my TV (with CNN online!) my window on the world, my mall, and my stereo (Harmon Kardon speakers, bay-bee! *g*).. .but then, 18 months after the new revolution...the display on my new toy flickered...and died...and the store put it in for service but - because I was in Learning Theories and needed the computer where all my work was stored - let me keep the machine at home. Hooked it to an external monitor and worked for 60 days from my kitchen table. So, I was no longer mobile..but I was still connected. It was suddenly a reversal of convenience even as it WAS convenience defined...

60 days later, the extended warranty I'd bought from the store allowed me a new computer. After bargaining with them (okay, ARGUING my point), they conceded to giving me the machine I own now - a real state-of-the-art machine. It is a laptop but more of a portable desktop (you've seen it - it's a monster *g*) - 17" screen, 256 MB Radeon 9600 dedicated graphics, the works...and I was back to being mobile, wireless, and happier than ever.

But...

There is a book I like to refer to, called "The Writer's Book of Days"....it contains writing exercises - block-busters, boosters, whatever one wishes to call them - one for every day of the year. Along with the book's offerings, the exercises have kept me writing - even if it is forced at times - to the point of maintaining creativity in times of perhaps lesser inspiration. The book says, at its beginning, and I quote portions of it:

"Writing practice is best done by hand"*

And then - with the heading: Why Write By Hand

"Ah, what technology has brought us! First the typewriter, then the word processor, now the computer, even the voice-recognition computer. Why write by hand when there's all this technology, the nanosecond response to the very flick of the finger, the ability to alter sentences, relocate paragraphs, erase, or rearrange whole chapters with macro magic. And how our fingers fly. At last we can almost keep up with our thoughts. With all this, why still write by hand?

Legions of writers still do, and for their own good reasons. For example: feminist scholar and writer bell hooks said there's something about handwriting that slows the idea process. When working on the computer, she said "you don't have those moments of pause that you need." Writer and monologist Spalding Gray (my note: the late Mr. Gray) believes writing by hand is the closest thing he can get to his breath, and novelist Anne Tyler said the muscular movement of putting down script on the paper gets her imagination back in the track where it was. Master horror writer Clive Barker said that for him, handwriting is "the most direct association I can make between what's going on in my mind's eye and what's going to appear on the page."*

She goes onto give more reasons, including:

- Writing is a physical act; you should do it with your body
- Writing muscles include the hand and the heart.
- Writing by hand is sensual; it allows you to feel the movement of pen against paper.
- You can feel your heart beat when you write by hand; sometimes you can feel your pulse in your fingers.
- You are in control when you write by hand (no low battery or malfunction or save command or crash can interrupt you)
**my note: Windows XP has made even crashes palatable with its recovery feature in Word**
- You can write anywhere when you write by hand.*

She encourages writing by hand - even if only for a month of practices to try it out, especially if one is accustomed to (and most at home at) the computer for writing. When I took this book off my shelf (after a couple of years of its sitting there, cover uncracked), I went back to writing by hand. It was awesome - it felt right, it WAS portable (however, it was pre-laptop days) and it was primal. Then I began to share my writings with select people in my life - and one of these being an (*cringes at the term*) online friend - and it was necessary for me to digitize my writing. At the same time as doing the writing exercises, I was continuing to write creatively, on the computer. So I went right back to doing it that way.

Judy Reeves mentions writing in terms of time management. She likens writing to making an appointment with one's writer-self and managing that time. Not canceling the appointment. Perhaps changing the time from day to day, but keeping it as a routine. Writing in one's calendar the amount of time one will devote per day. 10 minutes one day. 2 hours another. Managing that time, sticking to it, making it priority and following through.

Took this book away with me on Labor Day weekend, and began to re-read it, with every intention of revisiting its pages of writing prompts. But the time management, the commitment aspect and the habit-forming element of writing spoke loudest to me.

Then, when Leona brought up her concerns, and we talked in class about manufacturing a blog for class purposes...it struck me that this is precisely what the assignment can lead to. Sitting down grudgingly at an appointment (who likes the dentist's chair?) and feeling better once one is done...and then, that leading to more and more good habits (yes I floss more diligently before and after an appointment *lil grins*)...blogging has become that for me. I find myself - especially these last few days - turning to my bookmarked blog and adding to it. I will - hopefully - get more introspective, more insightful and more inspired as it goes along. But I have to say - I can see this blog reaching far beyond the final date of class...it is feeling good and is inspiring me to do more - creatively, academically, personally - in so many ways.

I can understand your reasoning in blogging so that you wouldn't have to lug around a laptop to keep your notes and research together. I will - I know - eventually do the same. However...in order to blog...I need the laptop because there are times I am somewhere with it (school lounge, or away on holiday) and open it up and start writing or doing graphics. In fact, it has become a happy burden to bear for me...it's my all-in-one. It's like I joke with my (non-computer/online-oriented) husband, "I'm a cheap date. Computer...wireless connection..I'm good to go." For those in my world can empathize, I need not explain. The computer has not only helped me as a tool, it has helped me manage my time more efficiently - in creative, social, and now academic ways - and has helped me to expand my horizons, truly to all parts of the globe.

* Judy Reeves, A Writer's Book of Days, New World Library, California, Copyright 1999

New Group Acceptance

2005-09-25T15:02:00.000-04:00

Well it happened yesterday - and I was tickled pink. It came from the Owners of the list...which was even more of an honor. They wrote:

Hello Lissa,

We sure like the frames you put around your shots. Two questions: "How?" and: "Is it easily done?".

We vinden de lijsten om jouw plaatjes erg leuk. Twee vragen: "Hoe?" en: "Gaat dat makkelijk?".

Pemmie en Eddy

The owners are dutch - as is a great number of the list members - and I have found that many of the North Americans are trying their hand at the translation machines. Quite humorous (translating into dutch and then back again is a riot).

I was beaming when I got that email...and wrote back instantly:

Thanks, Pemmie and Eddy - I do my graphics work in Paint Shop Pro - and for me, it's a passion, so easy or not, I love it. Some are easily done, some take more work. The longest process is adding the text (and deciding on my colors/effects). It's really a great love of mine, and doing it with these pics is a bonus upon bonus!

Thank you for the kind words!!

hugs,
lissa

I'm validated as an artist whenever anyone comments on my work...but this was more than artistic validation. It was full acceptance of my work and how it fits into the list norms. I also got comments on the "incredible romantic" that I am (mostly 'cause I named the resident Nilotic Geese - George and Gracie - and commented on how sweet they are together every night *G*) and someone else followed up that compliment with a post about my poetic soul.

What I find interesting is that I don't reveal too much of my self unless I am REALLY comfortable with a group. And yet, those in the group were able to see - from a couple of my posts - my poetic and romantic side. Wonder what else is showing..?! *gulps*

New Group - Great Class Experiment

2005-09-24T13:01:00.000-04:00

Well, this was an interesting follow-up to class discussion on legitimacy and belonging. Friend of mine sent me a site where a live 24/7 webcam is set up at a pond in Botswana, and I have become a fan (okay, an addict) of watching the animals come to the area. I have been doing screen shots (one uploaded here to give you an idea) and it has been educational for me and my kids.

**You can find the site here.**

Reading through the site, I noticed a Blog section. It is run by administration but is an ongoing community chat place as well, with posters sometimes carrying on conversations within minutes of each other's postings. I also read of a yahoo group set up for those who take screen shots or wish to see them. All of this is linked to the main site and is very well done. Immediately, I jumped right in - sent my first posting to the blog section and signed up for the yahoo group.

I didn't know the rules of the group - and the only "rule" posted on the site is that offensive posts/language will be deleted. Makes sense and is fairly obvious (and universal to most groups). When I do a screenshot, I don't simply send the capture - I play with the graphics ('cause I'm a graphics junkie too) and I hadn't seen that in the group when I first joined. But I decided to just do it - and if it was asked of me to send the raw capture, I would gladly comply.

I'm proud of my graphics abilities, but I do it for myself to enhance a photo - to me, an untreated photo is like sending out handwritten essays to one's professor. Thus far, no one has commented on my graphics, but no one has asked me to refrain from doing so either. Being a member of other groups - mostly graphics - I am fully aware of minimum and maximum size requirements for emails and attachments, and am always considerate of those on dial-up (for whom loading can be frustrating if attachments are large). So I managed to keep my pictures and their graphic enhancements down to a minimum, and thus far, no one has complained.

I joined the group on Tuesday - and have become what I term a "main character" - posting frequently, getting friendly with the members, and slowly drawing back the curtain on those things about myself (and my self) that I wish to reveal. One woman did the same, even mentioning how last night would have been her 10th wedding anniversary had her husband not left their marriage, and she was planning on toasting the day/night with a glass of wine and the webcam feed - I admire her candor, and her strength, and I wrote her back, disspelling her fears of being too "chatty" (as she had mentioned and apologized for) and giving her my personal email to snag so we could chat off-list.

Today's conversation revolves around how we all want to get on a plane and go volunteer to run the camera at the Pond. And more personalities are coming to the fore. I don't know what previous posts have been like, but since I've come into the group, I've gotten to see more humor and jocularity than one might have expected from a simple "send your screenshots here" group. Last night, late (not telling HOW late, nuh-uh *grins*), the camera was out - the "remote camera guru geek" wrote the list - we didn't even know he was a member! - to give us first-hand info on the outage, and sent us pics taken directly AT the site, by the camera operator with whom he was in touch via email. So not only are we a group of enthusiasts, the Head Honchos are watching/participating and obviously appreciative of our efforts.

It did not take long - a day or so - for me to feel comfortable and a part of this new group but I have to admit to some trepidation as to how my pictures would be received. Thus far - utter acceptance and this has encouraged me to do and send more.

Found it interesting, given my new awareness of social computing...

Shouting

2005-09-17T14:10:00.000-04:00

Friend of mine sent this to me - it completely defines a point that was touched upon this week, and one I think we can all relate to - enjoy the laughs!

Google Blog Development

2005-09-15T23:17:00.000-04:00

Found this interesting:

It looks like blogs are becoming more mainstream - not for us young folk anymore. In fact, I got my 73-year-old father interested in what blogs are and how they work. Not to say he will actually begin his own (he's just getting comfy with composing email anew, in lieu of replying to one sent to him so he doesn't have to retrieve the email address of the person involved) - but in explaining the workings of blogging, I was able to help him see the usefulness of them. Who knows where it could lead - he knows he has a geekette in the family (and I say that with pride, fellow G's) - and one never knows if he might even decide to try his hand at it! That would be a coup...

2005-09-07T21:24:00.000-04:00

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

Musing Number One

2005-09-07T20:40:00.000-04:00

It occurs to me that social computing is a pretty selective activity. I have to wonder, as someone who considers herself to be quite social via electronic media AND in person, how it has come to be that those who are not as social online tend to look down upon the lifestyles created by online communities, online friendships, online anything.

Is this something that others have found, either with significant others in their lives, or friends (the misnomered "real-time" friends), or family members who disdainfully proclaim, "you spend so much time on that COMPUTER, why don't you get out more?!"....? It's a question I've pondered for years....

Comments and experiences are more than welcome....