Finally - A Collective Sigh of Relief

(Pic courtesy of Habs Talk Radio http://tinyurl.com/6gzl3t2)

As I write, the smile is plastered across my face. My Habs broke the slide and won their first home game of this season, their 2nd win. This game was overdue but I believe things happen for a reason. What the reason is, we may never know. But it isn't important. I think we all learned something from the last couple of weeks.

We learned what it feels like to lose, too many times. That doesn't feel good but in many ways, it banded many of us together. I saw tempers flare, confidence shattered, and people snapping for really no reason. But I also saw fans digging DEEP for the belief in our team, never ever giving up or giving out. Never losing faith or hope that the Habs would come back. And sharing that loyalty with others in both camps.

And come back, they did. Winning 5-1 over the Philadelphia Flyers (now, at least throughout this season, to be known as The Team The Habs Beat), a team many had said would beat us easily. Our guys played hard, constant, fast and aggressive hockey, never letting up on the pressure, and you could FEEL the desperation to win. And the last 10 seconds, P.K. Subban dipsy-doodling with the puck in our zone, running the seconds down, wanting to be the first to congratulate his friend Carey Price and hand him the game puck for his 100th win (which had eluded him this season so far) - that was sweet giddy laughter that felt SO good to emote!

The firing-the-coach talk still continues, despite the surprise firing of A.C. Perry Pearn announced just 90 minutes before the game. I am not engaging in that talk, nor have I ever. It's all about the game, belief in the team, and the victory.

Now, one win at a time. We face the Bruins next, tomorrow and Saturday. Do I think we can win? I sure do! Because I have an undying loyalty for my team, and a neverending store of positive energy to send their way. I have seen others cautiously happy for the win ("we still only won 2 this season" and "it's only 1 win") and I get that too - can't get too confident, though it's not as strong as my abject conviction that we have what it takes and will get the job done.

But it's the team that will take this momentum and drive the point home: We are the Habs. We are the most storied, oldest and most Cup-winning franchise in the League. And NO ONE can keep us down for very long!

Go Habs Go - and well done, guys, you did an awesome job of rejuvenating this city and your fans!!

Late to the Party: Through My Eyes

Sometimes, when you walk into a party later into the evening, you see things differently. By the time you arrive, the guests are pleasantly tipsy, or all-out drunk, they've eaten, they've mingled, they've become Part of the Crowd. Your presence may or may not register, but you are on the periphery no matter how many people you may know.

But your perspective is unique. You aren't tipsy. Your vision isn't clouded by alcohol or revelry. You may see what's there more clearly, or you may take your objectivity and turn it into your own story to write. You may feel left out or you may enjoy the separation between the Group and yourself.

The above analogy describes my experience in this, my 2nd season as a Habs fan. I commune with other Habs fans on Twitter, and can discuss only within my limited knowledge of hockey culture. I ask questions, learn and absorb, but my knowledge is also fed to me via the very subjective opinions of die-hard fans. I listen to people like Dave Stubbs, Brian Wilde and Michael Farber for the professional points of view - and sometimes I need them to tell me what/how to feel. For example, my question this depressing season so far has been, "should I panic?"

I've been told by the die-hards on Twitter that yes, I should panic (I'm not ready to do so). The Habs won't make playoffs, we're already too far out of playoff position. I've been told it's the coach's fault, the manager's fault, and in my
naiveuninformedinexperienced exposure to the game, I don't know that I can believe that 100%. I don't see the coach missing open nets, or giving up goals. Does he make a difference? I know that much to be true. But I don't believe the players are losing because he's "lost the room" or is unemotional.

So I try to keep positive. I don't believe firing the coach is the answer. (But what do I know?) I don't believe players on the ice are showing lackluster performance because they hate the coach or refuse to play for him or aren't communicating with him. You can take the conductor away from the orchestra but if they've played together long enough, the piece will be as flawless as if there were a baton directing them.

I find tempers flaring on social media. I see fans turning on the team - booing and swearing at them at the Bell Centre, calling them out via social media. With each one, I get more defensive of my Habs, from the players to the management. I try not to speak about things I don't know or cannot speak of with any authority. Like the new girl in a foreign school, I latch onto posts of those like-minded individuals whose opinions validate mine. My positivity and upbeat optimism seems to rankle others who would prefer to believe the worst. I state my opinion but fear my voice of inexperience diminishes the message.

What I do know is emotions. And humanity. And while I don't know that our losing streak is a surefire bet against even making the playoffs (because my logical mind doesn't get that, with 74 games left till the April playoffs, that fact can even be determined), and I tend to eschew statistics (being a researcher gives me the right to question EVERY stat), I can only speak as a loving and loyal fan: I Believe. And no matter what it takes, or how long it takes, I know the Habs can come back and show us what we know they're made of - they are mes Canadiens de Montréal, and they'll regroup!

Reaping Rewards in Rivalry

When I answered the call to enter Eric Engels's blog-writing contest ("what does the Habs/Bruins rivalry mean to you?"), I enjoyed writing the piece I did. I always love writing, and the excuse to do so. It was easy to access the content of that blog; it was in my heart, and in very recent memory of Habs/Bruins incidents from last season.

When I won, it was an amazing feeling - I love writing, and writing about hockey isn't something I can do like Eric, or any of the other bloggers I love to read; I can't do stats, I can't do history, I can't even talk about play or action, at least not with the expertise that comes from longevity as a fan and keen knowledge of the game and the culture. But I CAN write about the human factor, I can access that which we all share and I can write about hockey in that vein, no problem. Having my blog published as Eric's gameday blog, as well as many of my Twitter friends taking the time to read, retweet, and comment on my blog and my win, was heady! To be rewarded (and so complimented!) on my writing sweetens the satisfaction of writing, and I believe I will be starting a new blog shortly. Details to follow.

But tonight, the rivalry between the Habs and Bruins rewarded me, and my sons. See, Eric had gotten 2 tickets to the game, and the winner of his blog contest was to accompany him to see the Habs and Bruins in preseason action tonight. Long story short, he gave me both tickets, I bought a third, and I was able - thanks to HockeyTickets.ca and Eric Engels - to take my two sons to this game. The third ticket was in the greys (affordable and let's face it, anywhere you sit in the Bell Centre is an optimum seat), so the three of us agreed that each boy would sit with me for a period and a half. And tonight I would premiere my new P.K. Subban jersey, finally to be part of the Habs-jersey-wearing crowd at a hockey game!! (Sometimes, it's good to not stand out but to blend in!)

We began with dinner at a Montreal landmark restaurant - Mr. Steer. Delicious burgers, great place pre-game, and just up the street from the Bell Centre. We arrived shortly after Eric, and when we got to the table, the two tickets were just sitting in front of him. Talk about effective! I introduced him to the boys, we all sat down, and the conversation never stopped. My kids were a little starstruck (Eric reports for Hockeybuzz.com as well as CTV Montreal Sports "Habs Hub") but more, they were in their element, talking hockey with a guy who could talk it right back. It looked like Eric was enjoying the kids too. And that makes me even more proud of my boys than ever!

We walked down to the Bell Centre, but before parting (Eric went to the Loft a.k.a. Press Box and we went to our seats), I asked him to pose for a pic with my boys. After all, he IS a local celebrity! (It was a blast to get an "I can see you guys!" text from him after the game began, and we texted back and forth a few times throughout the evening)

Inside, the boys decided that Sam would sit in the reds with me for the first 30 minutes, and Josh for the last. We parted, with instructions to keep in touch via text. When Sam and I walked into Section 118, I think both our jaws needed picking up. What incredible seats!! So close to the action and so bright and big and exciting!

The game began after our very own Michael Cammalleri received the Jean Béliveau Trophy (for community involvement), presented to him by the Gentleman himself. Jean Béliveau, for those who aren't familiar with him, is hockey royalty. Not just Habs royalty, though he is a Canadien through and through (having played for Montreal his entire career, from 1950-1971!), but he is truly one of the most respected men in the hockey world. Eric told us that Mr. Béliveau, if he should make eye contact with someone who is an obvious fan but too shy to say hello, will introduce himself and say hi to the fan. The man just exudes class. When he was introduced and came out on the ice, there was a spontaneous standing ovation by the 21K in attendance. He was visibly moved and it was truly a Moment for me and my kids too.

And then...the Game. Last night, the Bruins slaughtered my poor Habs, 7-3, in Halifax. Would we see a different outcome tonight? Well, we lost but it was a 2-1 loss, our guys played really well, and the refs blew a few non-calls (goalie interference, holding, tripping...blatant stuff the seeing-eye dogs must have missed). Can't blame the refs, I know. But it would have been awesome to see the guys win what would have been their 2nd of the preseason. Not to be. But super exciting because of our location.

When it was time for Sam to go to the other seat, I felt awful - just as awful as I'd felt to send Josh up at the beginning of the game. But my kids are good sports...I am - again - very proud of them. And Josh's ear-to-ear grin when he took his new seat was worth it. Sam and I enjoyed the first 30 minutes, Josh arrived almost minutes before the Canadiens opened the scoring, and I enjoyed the company of each boy for 30 minutes of play. What could have been better? Oh, right. A win!

However, it's preseason. We didn't play the full team, despite the big guns like Plek, Cammy, Gionta, Gorges in the lineup, and Carey Price in nets for the full 60 minutes. We saw Brendan Gallagher work very hard to impress, and do an outstanding job of it. We saw Carey's acrobatics in nets, and Pleky's super-beautiful stride as he hustled down the ice to try to put the puck in goal or steal it from the opponent. We saw Cammy put one in, and best of all, we were back at the Bell Centre, losing our voices in cheers of "Go Habs Go!!!" for another year's fun. I have a good feeling about the regular season. That's just the optimist in me. Every game is a blank slate.

Tonight isn't about the season. It isn't about the players or the strategies. It wasn't even about the scoreboard. It was about the big heart Eric Engels showed me and my kids (yes, I won the blog contest - that was also a thrill but he didn't have to give us both tix), and a new friendship with a super guy; it was about the pure joy I saw on my boys' faces when I first broke the news to them, watched them immediately text and tweet their friends to share it, and their excitement all through today and this evening. That is the huge pile of rewards this rivalry has resulted in, and will continue to live on in the boys' memories, and mine. The lasting aura is enough to make this night a victory.

Rivalry is a Beautiful Thing: Habs v Bruins

I became a rabid hockey fan in the past year or so. This means, in a nutshell, understanding the game and all its nuances - instead of the previous me, the Scoreboard Celebrant. So of course, it stands to reason that - between the newscasters and social media - I developed a keen understanding of the rivalry between the Montreal Canadiens and Boston Bruins. Little did I know, at the outset, that this is a long-standing feud, more intense than the Hatfields and the McCoys. But I did find out rather quickly how deep those waters run.

I suppose it began with the January victory, last season, where Max Pacioretty scored the winning OT goal and started what would define the rest of the season for every Habs fan, and the NHL itself. It was the human factor I embraced and blogged and hockey was merely the umbrella under which the emotions resided.

On Twitter, where Bruins bashing was more rampant, I refrained; I could recognize the difference between rivalry and attack, and didn't like the attacks on people, no matter their team. Instead, I enjoyed the company of some classy Bruins fans who chose to celebrate the game, not defame its patrons.

The Cup was different - I couldn't watch the celebrations of the team that had beaten us out of a long playoff run. I’d seen the underhandedness of many Boston players and the newbie justice-seeker in me cried out, "where are the refs? Why aren't the rules being followed?" So it hurt to see them go all the way and hoist the Cup that has our name on it more often than any other team.

Flash forward to Season '11-'12: I’m optimistic that the bad feelings have run their course. I can now recognize the rivalry between our two teams, and anticipate thoroughly trouncing them on the scoreboard, with perhaps-naive hopes that dirty plays won't be accepted and good, intense hockey will be the order of any given day. I can now boo the Bruins with the intensity of having earned my Rival Badge. Go Habs GO!

(NB: this was an entry to a blog contest run by Eric Engels - to my utter delighted shock, I won the entry - the story is my next entry)

Panic, Negativity, and Bandwagon Jumpers

We lost in a 7-0 blowout to Boston, last night, of all teams. The head-hanging, the hair-pulling, the band-wagon jumping, the embarrassment, the shame...all of it by Habs fans. Imagine how the team is feeling?! Imagine how they'd feel if they saw the negativity by their own fans bombarding Twitter feeds and Facebook groups everywhere!

So my friend Mike posted to a Facebook group and I was just about ready to leave that group because more negativity is not what this 100-percent-forever-Habs-fan will abide right now.

But he has a point...and so I had to listen and decide whether I would stay in the group...

Mike wrote:

You can tell we’re totally screwed for the playoffs and won't do anything… This season, think of all the blowouts we’ve suffered! We lost to the Sabres 8-2! We lost to the Rangers 10-5! Double digits! Not only that, we lose 6-2 to the Islanders and 8-3 to the Sabres AGAIN!!!??? There’s no way we’re doing anything in the playoffs, NO WAY!


(If these games don't sound immediately familiar, these results are all from the 1992-93 NHL season in which the Canadiens completely sucked in the playoffs, right?)

So chill, people. If you want to come back to the fold after the next win, we'll probably welcome you back - but know that your band-wagoneering days are numbered if you keep hopping on and off at warp speeds. One of these days, the bandwagon might just leave without you.

And then which team will you support?

When it hits out of the blue...

© Original painting by Juan Bielsa



There are times I miss my mother more than others. I miss her presence in my life, I miss her phone calls, I miss having a mom. But there are times the realization (yes, even after almost 9 years) hits hard, that she's gone, and those times are days like today.

News of the legendary Elizabeth Taylor's death hit the news channels first, and then Twitter, where we carry out conversations in 140 characters (or fewer). And I found myself just thinking to myself, today would have been a day I'd have called my mother to tell her and share this news and memories of Elizabeth Taylor. We'd have talked about all Ms. Taylor's movies, many of them watched together; all Ms. Taylor's husbands (besides my grandmother, my mom knew this stuff cold - usually because of my grandmother); all Ms. Taylor's troubles. She'd have sighed, "Poor lady, she had one of those charmed troubled lives."

It's interesting how someone else's news becomes bigger for me than the news; it becomes a sad reminder of the absences in my life.